Letting Go...

Realisation

Time helped me learn control and by the time we were home, I looked perfectly normal. Someone looking from outside could even have mistaken me to be happy. But no one could see the war waging in my mind. The hurt stabbing me in my heart. The feeling lurking in my guts. It was a massacre, a massacre of me.

I was good at this. Good at faking. I had a lot of practice everyday. For that I thank the society. It's numerous stereotypes have been my tools to perfection.

As I helped my father unload, all I could do, to stop the mess inside me hurl out, was keep shut. If I crumbled there, I would be subjected to prejudice again. Boys can't cry, I would be told. And so I couldn't.

Once done, I went up to my room.

Then the dam broke, the tears flowed and I succumbed to the thought of everything breaking to a million of pieces.

A few hours ago, I knew my world to be a culmination of friends bonded by love. I have been living here in old Carolingian all my life. But 'a few hours ago' was no more here and my world was to be snatched away, and put to dust. I looked at my room. It looked alive with posters all over it. I remembered the tale behind and another volley of tears overtook.

I looked out of the window and saw another. Mrs. Donaldy lived there all alone. She was so kind and have us everything she baked. But she will have no peers to please now.

I couldn't see anything anymore. It would bring back memories that I want to leave. So I closed my eyes.

But I was no help. It brought even deeper memories. The memories of her soft hair on my face. The sweet smell that used to orbit her. If I were a galaxy, she would have been the stars. She filled my hollowness.

I wondered how I would break the news to her. I wondered how she would react.

I would have to leave my first friend and my first love. Oh it hurt so much!

And so i made a plan.