Smoke, Lies, and Goobyes

9

Smoke, Lies, and Goodbyes 9

Norman's POV

I sit at the bar, downing drinks and praying I'd get drunk. Today, I could NOT get drunk! Five drinks in and still sober as fuck!

"You're not gonna dance with me?" She asks, a smile on her beautiful face. Why the fuck was I such a nice guy? I could be in Victor's place right now! Her fingers reach up, wiping the tears off my face.

"Well, I guess one wouldn't hurt." You, I add mentally, sliding off my stool. Taking her hand in mine, she pulls me along through the throng of dancers to a less crowded place where she wraps her arms around me, resting her head on my chest, heaving a sigh.

"Congrats on the terrorist." I mumble, put my arms around her, hugging against me as we rocked back and forth to the melody of the music.

"Thanks." She mutters into my chest, her eyes closed as she sways. "I don't want to leave you and Mingus." She says sadly, putting a hand on my shoulder, wrapping it around the back of my neck. God would I miss this!

"We'll make it ya know." I say, hugging her tighter.

"I love you, Norman." I could feel the tears welling against my own will. I shake my head.

"Don't say that." I hush, looking down at her.

"Don't do this." She whispers as I back up, trying to pry her off of me. "Norman, don't." She whines, hugging tighter.

"Hey, Laura, whatever we were, before this, we can't be that anymore." I say, pushing her back.

"Of course, so before you go, can you please come with me for a second, I wanna show you something." She pulls me out the door into the cool night, chilling the hot tears that were trying so desperately to fall.

"Dammit Laura! We have to stop whatever this is!" I say, trying not to raise my voice.

"Norman, I know I'm never going to see you again after tonight, because I'm going with Victor." I couldn't take her saying anything else like that.

I dip down, pressing my lips hard against hers, only wanting one more kiss before I never saw her again.

She brings her hands around, running them through my hair and begging for more.

Oh shit, she couldn't do this! She was supposed to pull away! I pull back, our lips smacking apart.

"I gotta go." I say, pulling away from her. She sighs, leaning in against me.

"Don't. Norman this is it! I'm never going to see you again! Why can't you just stay one more night?!" She's stressed and I understood why! I wouldn't want to marry some one I didn't love either!

"Because we can't be this! I can't fucking kiss you like that anymore! I can't keep breaking the rules like this. I have to go," with that, I turn and leave. There they were, the tears that weren't falling. I get into my car, going to the nearest bar. I don't know what else to do so I sat and cried, knowing she was the most beautiful girl I will ever see and she wasn't mine and I couldn't have changed it for the world!

My god I would have in a damn heartbeat! If she called me right now and said she needed me, really needed me, I would go! I would find her and I didn't fucking care if I had to go to china! If she needed me, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

"You seem kinda down, son, what's the matter with ya?" Asks a rather old man, his face wrinkled and his eyes only squints of green.

"Nothing." I say, looking back to my beer.

"What happened?" He asks. I sigh, might as well tell him.

"I met this girl, she was my son's babysitter and damn, I love her, it's sick. I mean, what kind of sick bastard falls in love with his son's babysitter?" I chuckle coldly to myself.

"Ya can't help who ya fall in love with. Trust me pal." He laughs, sliding another drink down.

"The first week, I thought she was beautiful and shy, but she after she warmed up to me she was happy go lucky, funny, sweet, just damn perfect. Then, after we took our son -well, it's my son but he adopted her as a mom- to school, we kissed in the car. I took her home and we... did it. After that, things just went down hill. I had too much to drink, I slapped her, she got engaged, took me out into the parking lot to give me something and then I fuckin' kissed her, now here I am." I wave to the bar tender, letting him know I needed another. I keep drinking and sharing funny stories with the old man. Four hours later, I was still thinking about Laura, only everything was hazy. I couldn't help but smile at the man who sat next to me after Sam, the green-eyed man, left. He sat, tears falling into his drink.

"What's the matter?" I ask, tipping back another beer.

"My ex-girlfriend is getting married today." He says, another tear falling down his dark-complected face, some of the water sticking to his thick, black lashes.

"Want some advice?" I ask, taking another big drink.

"Sure," he mutters, looking up at me with his big, brown eyes that were huge and made me feel bad. He looked like a whipped puppy.

"Object. Don't listen to her or her parents, just object." I say, knowing I should've done it at Laura's wedding. When she told me she loved me I should've jumped on it and kissed her and told her I loved her too.

"Well thanks." He says, giving me a nod.

It's been five months in the bottle, lost in my own world because I never felt whole after I stopped seeing her. Mingus stays with my mom and I drink and stumble home, maybe even stop for some dinner some where, but I never try to hook up. I don't ever want the touch of anyone but Laura.

"Hi sexy!" Says a sweet voice. I turn to see a girl who could break hearts, but I only nod, tipping back another drink.

She tries to run her finger down my shoulder but I shake her off.

"I'm gay." I mutter, taking another big drink. She only gives a little gasp before turning on her heel and stalking off. I sit, downing my drinks, drowning my sorrows.

A soft hand falls lightly on my shoulder, causing me to rage. Why the fuck didn't she understand I wasn't interested?

I turn, seeing what I thought was a hallucination. It was a girl who looks just like Laura, but Laura was in India with her freak o' nature and Alice. Sweet little Alice, god did I miss her cute little smiles and her hugs and her calling me 'daddy'.

"C'mon Reedus! Closing time." Says the bar tender, pulling my drink away from me. I couldn't believe it, but clearly I'd fallen asleep at the bar dreaming of Laura being my girlfriend, kisses soft and sweet, her arms wrapping around my waist.

"Norman?" I look up into the beautiful eyes of Laura and know I must still be dreaming. She pulls me up into her grip, helping me home.

As long as she was here, even if it was a dream, I couldn't risk it. Every second I had with her was limited and I wanted to make good use of it.

"Laura, I love you." I say, pulling her against me.

"Norman, come on. I can't carry you up the stairs." She laughs, hugging me tightly. I could feel her face buried in my shoulder and I smiled. This had to be a dream, it couldn't be real. Laura's not here, you fuck! She's in some other country and we forgot about you! You don't matter anymore! I fist my hands as tears start falling down.

"Hey, hey, hey. Stop it. Norman, look, I'm right here." She hushes, caressing my face with both if her hands.

"No, you're just a dream. When I wake up, you'll be gone and I'll be back to where I started." I say, shaking my head as pull myself away.