Mystery behind the suicide.

Goodbye Sam.

"Things will be alright, she's in a better place now"
All my so called friends said to me after the suicide my bestfriend succeed to attempt.
"Why" I pondered around my room searching for an answer.
"She had me, she wasn't alone" my voice cracked while speaking to myself.
Wiping my tears off and getting dressed for another day of hell.
No wonder Sam did what she have done. This world is coming to a piece of shit. I don't blame her but I blame myself for letting this happen.
Words can't explain how much I miss her. It's been a whole month and one day does not go by me not thinking about her. She was my life, my bestfriend, the reason I was so happy.
Mother like to call us long lost sisters.
We were the perfect team.
I loved her. I told Sam everything. That girl was my mother, my sister, my girlfriend, my bestfriend.
Everything in one... She was so perfect why did I let this happen?
While scrolling up through all our old messages, I chuckled a little. I read all of our little arguments, our inside jokes, our dreams we would tell each other every morning. I miss waking up to her text but now it's time to move on.
I agreed to myself this isn't healthy for me. I have to let go of Sam

*delete messages*

*sigh* goodbye Sam...

*************************************
2 month later

"Kiana it's time to get up, you have 30 minutes to get ready for school"
My mother shouted from downstairs.
Waking up looking at the time..
7:04 am
I couldn't get up...I didn't want to go to school...it hurt so much knowing Sam wasn't here to wake me up. She was just down the street from me and she was always an early bird, woke up every morning at 6:15am, with her hair properly groomed and her makeup looking natural, but still beautiful as ever. She was the reason why I looked decent enough to even get out of the house. I had to learn to do everything myself again, I depended on Sam too much.
I finally had the courage to get up, I threw my hair in a sloppy bun, brushed my teeth, put some mascara on and searching around my room to find some sweats.
I didn't really care much on how I looked. I was kinda the opposite when it came to looks with me and Sam, I was more of the sporty girl when she was the girly and cared about washed clean hair and crap like that. Call me gross whatever.
While searching for about 10 minutes. I finally found my sweats, they were shoved in my dresser. I smelled my sweats wondering if they were dirty, and yes they were but I really didn't give a crap, I went in my sisters room to find some of her girly Victoria secret body spray so I could spray the living crap out of these sweat.
Haven't done any Landry In awhile. Usually Sam would come every Sunday to help out, and when I mean help out I mean, she does everything why I sit in my living room watching family guy.
She didn't care she loved helping out. It was kinda of her thing, helping people.
So while I'm in my sisters room I'm spraying away, while my sister bust in her room yelling "KIANA THATS MINE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP"....
"You were watching Shrek weren't you, Alex?" I chucked lightly to bright up the mood a little since she was bringing a lot of unneeded tension in the room.
"Yes" she smirked.
We both laughed and kind of got over the fact I was using her expensive perfume.
She walks into her room and came up to me and gave me a huge hug
*sigh* "I know you're still upset, I just want you to be happy".
My head falls forward "I just want to see her..."
"I have an idea, let's go visit Sam we can go buy some flowers on the way there. I'll pick you up after school alright?"
"Okay" I mumbled, I walked out of the room tried not to shed a tear.
For the past 2 months I haven't been able to get myself prepared to see Sam.
It just hurts to much...
"Kiana are you ready?" My mom shouted
"Crap! Almost!" I started to rush and tried to find my fuzzy boots Sam bought me 2 years ago.
Those are my favorite boots and I try not to wear them to much because they were so expensive. My family didn't really have the money to buy nice things for me and Alex so we were always used to handy downs from our cousins. Sam on the other hand, was very wealthy she had her own car a credit card for "emergencies only".
Always had her nails done, she had it all...her life was like a Kardashian. So why would she end her life?
"Kiana cmon lets gooooo"
"Alright mom!!! I'm going I'm going"
While I reached my hand under the bed I felt some paper... While pulling the paper out it was a picture of me and Sam on my last birthday.
We looked so happy, that was when my mom saved up money to get my nails done with Sam, of course Sam offered to pay but we wouldn't let her.
I stared at the paper for a while...I didn't know what to do with myself, so many mixed emotions.
"Kiana? Are you okay Hun?"
My mom said in a soft voice.
"Why are you laying on the ground?"
I stood there trying to find a excuse until my eyes stopped looking teary.
"Oh I'm just looking for my fuzzy boots mom, I'll be down there in 5"
"Alright Kiana I'll start the car"
"Okay".
Once my mother left the room I folded up the picture of me and Sam put in in my boot and got my bag and left the house. Time for school.