This Is Reality

Chapter 30

Carl takes Judith from me and goes off and feeds her. Not really anyone else came over besides Carol, Michonne, and Maggie. Everyone else still hasn't really changed their views about me. Cool.

The whole group sat together in the dining room of a large house eating breakfast, supplied by Daryl. I was sitting next to Daryl, rather close because we were tight on room, Judith on my lap. He had his arm around me as I entertained Judith. She almost made me want to have my own baby...

"So... You thinking about your own?" A redheaded man asks from across the table

"Excuse me?" I ask, wondering if I should be offended or not

"The baby, I mean you always have her. Why not have your own?"

Did this asshole just tell me what to do with my life? I stood up with Judith and went onto the front porch without a word. I left the screen door open and all I heard was a smack and a girl yelling at who I believe was Abraham. It was better for me to just walk out, he could say I'm weak or whatever, I just didn't want to start anything.

I was cradling Judith and she started drifting off to sleep. I still couldn't get over the fact that the red headed man had the nerve to tell me I should have my own child. I held Judith close as she slept, she was practically my step-daughter...

"Dodger...?" Daryl questioned quietly from behind the screen

"Hm?" I turned to face him

He looked at Judith asleep in my arms and motioned me to come inside. "It's quiet, c'mon," he whispered

I stood up and went upstairs to the room Rick and Judith shared. Daryl opened her playpen he found in the basement and put a blanket down. Gently laying her down and putting her blanket over her, I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. A good night kinda deal mothers do...

Standing back up, I felt Daryl's arms snake around my waist and hold me close. We were both looking at her as she peacefully slept. Daryl had something to tell me, I knew he did. I took his hand into mine and kissed his cheek.

"She's okay for now" I whisper

With a nod, he leads me out and quietly closes the door behind us. Holding my hand, he lead me back to the front porch and closed the regular door behind us.

"What's on your mind?" I ask, sitting on the railing

"A lot, but mostly what the fuck head Abraham said to you. It took everything inside of me not to punch him the mouth. Rosita stood up for you and smacked him across the face"

"Rosita smacked him, for me?" I tilt my head, still taking in what he just told me

"Yeah, took him in the kitchen and started yellin' at 'em too"

"Damn... Guess you were right about everyone..."

Daryl came over and stood in front me, "I told ya that they liked ya, but they just didn't show it to you"

After taking in the fact that they actually supported me now, I went back to what he said before. "What's on your mind about what he said Daryl" I looked up at him, his eyes dark again

He looked down at me, "I love seein' you with kids. Ya seem so happy..."

I knew where he was going with this...

"And I was wonderin' if ya really wanted one. Regardless of what Abraham had to say, actually wanted to ask you before but shit happened..."

I let out a small sigh and placed a hand on his cheek, "I really don't know if I could go through that again considering I lost one... It's nothin' against you trust me. I would love to have a family of our own but I don't know of I'm emotionally ready..."

I felt like such a bitch telling him that but I'd rather tell him the truth than lie to him...

"It's alright baby, it's up to you. I wasn't gonna force ya. I understand, maybe later on?" I couldn't tell if he was upset that I said no but he understood, I saw that.

"Maybe" I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, not wanting to ever let go

My head rested on his chest, his heartbeat filled my head. For some reason, it calmed me more than anything. I thought about my dream I had, where we had a family. Maybe we did have to wait.

As I opened my mouth to tell him about the dream, I heard someone clear their throat. I opened my eyes to see Rosita, Eugene, and Abraham standing at the door. Rosita was looking down at her feet, Eugene looked a little concerned, and Abraham looked like he just kicked in the dick a few times.

"How long have y'all been there..." I question, not pissed off

"Well we were about to come out when we heard you talking so we stood by the door. When you stopped we came out" Eugene stated

"Oh okay..." I was still confused on why they were all out here

"Look, Dodger, we accidentally listened to your conversation. I'm sorry about everything that has happened before, and what just happened. And please, if you need to talk I'm here, I always have been. I just never came up to you to let you know that" Rosita said kindly, hugging me afterwards

"Thank you..."

"And what you gotta say" Daryl said coldly to Abraham

"I think we both know why I'm out here now" Abraham spoke quietly, intimidated

"Well get started" Daryl said, sitting on a chair and pulled me onto his lap

I put my head on his shoulder and listened to Abraham. Daryl took my hand, our fingers intertwined.

"What I said earlier was really unnecessary. At the time it just seemed right to ask. I know Judith ain't yours and to me it seemed like you were taking her away from her real family" Abraham paused

"After Rosita talked some sense into me and hearing about your past, it was mighty fucked up of me to say that. I didn't know you miscarried, I shouldn't have said that to you" He paused again

"I'm sorry, I really am..." He looked at me, guilt in his eyes

When Abraham spoke I felt Daryl's pulse getting faster, he was aggravated. I started rubbing small circles into his hand, trying to calm him down. It ending up working, thank God.

"Just don't do it again" I told Abraham sternly

"I won't"

At that, Abraham and Rosita went back inside. Eugene lingered for a second then went in, shutting the door behind him.

I looked at Daryl, confused on what just happened.

"Ya saw that too right?" He asked

"Yeah... He's thinkin' about something..." I saw it plastered all over his face

"So are you" His grip around my waist gets a little tighter, holding me close