This Is Reality

Chapter 29

"C'mere" He pulls me over, wrapping his arms around me

Getting comfy, lying close to him, a question came to mind. "Why Propofol? And where the hell did you get it"

I wasn't pissed or aggravated, I just wanted to know.

He took a deep breath and played with my hair, slowly taking out all of the braids. He was looking at the ceiling, deep in thought.

"Well, I think I should explain everythin' and tell you along the way"

I sit up a bit, my head on his chest, "I'm all ears"

"Alright well, before we went into the church I had a bad feeling that someone or something was following us. Without even thinking, I went for it. I never said anything about you because I thought you came in or went out huntin'. I was obviously wrong. When I touched your stitches, I didn't think they hurt that much. You popped your stitches because of me, and when I went to fix them, I only made things worse. The Propofol was somethin' my brother had. He was a druggy, had anythin' ya wanted... I knew it relaxed the body and put ya out for awhile, but I think I gave you what my brother used to talk about takin'. I shouldn't have given ya so much..." He paused for a moment before speaking again

"When I went to help you, I panicked every time Dodger. Panicking obviously made things worse. I only panicked because I didn't know how to save the girl I loved. I didn't know how to treat what you needed. I was never raised on how to treat girls, I just dealt with my older brother. I never meant to hurt you Dodger, or put you in that coma. I didn't know I was such a monster until now..." Daryl refused to look at me the entire time he spoke. Maybe it was if he did look at me, he'd cry.

"Daryl, I understand everything, before you even said anything. Please don't put all this on yourself, you didn't know any better. I forgive everything you did. That's the past. I love you for who you are Daryl, not who you were last week. I know the real you, and this is it. Not the other you. I know you weren't sure about the things you did, I saw that. Daryl, we can start over now... We have each other... Back at the creek, I looked at my reflection in Carol's knife and all I saw was a monster. Maybe that's what we are now, and we can't help that..." As I spoke to him gently, I wiped away the tears that rolled down his cheek with my thumb.

His hand slowly and gently raised my shirt to see my side. The bruising ranged from yellow to dark purple, pretty nasty if you ask me.

"But I did that to you..." He looks down at me, hurt in his eyes. He could barely speak...

"But that wasn't the real you" I took his hand into mine and kissed his cheek

"We're putting what happened behind us, just forget what happened completely okay? I'd never hold it against you even if I didn't make it, so don't hold it against yourself, please?"

"Dodger... I-" The tears he cried haven't left

"Daryl stop..." The calmness I held in my voice slowly began to ease him. I brought my lips to his, I passionately kissed him, showing him it was okay.

Daryl and I stayed cuddled close all night. I don't remember what we talked about, but we ended up making each other laugh and smile. This is how it was always supposed to be, we were made for one another. We were the missing puzzle pieces to each other's lives. I've never felt so happy with someone outside of family. The only thing that would make my life a little better right now is Enid. The possibilities of finding her were slim, but I couldn't give up on her. She was my real family. The only thing I had left of family for years...

"Sunshine can I ask ya somethin'?" Daryl asks, the sun slowly coming up from the horizon

"What's that?" I pushed his bangs out from in front of his ocean blue eyes

"The times you woke up cryin', I never asked, but why" He looked down at me, not forcing me to answer

"If I ever wake up crying, it because I had a dream about my sister" I'll admit, the last time I woke up in tears wasn't because of her, but I couldn't tell him that

"You got a sister?"

"Oh I never told you? My bad, love. Her name is Enid, she's three years younger than me" Happy memories of her and I flashed in my mind, putting a smile on my face

"...Where is she?" He reluctantly asked, but I was going to tell him anyway

"First day the world went to shit, we got separated. It was all my fault. If Enid is still out there, I hope she still has the gun and knife I gave her... I trained her on how to use them and how to kill before we ventured off our property... I just hope and pray she didn't do anything stupid and that our dad is lookin' over her"

"When we go out, we'll look alright? Ya think she'll like me?" Daryl joked about the last part, but he was serious about finding her

I nodded and smiled, he knew how to make me happy in a short sentence. He knew I didn't need a mushy paragraph explaining why he loved me. If someone loved me like he did, they would care enough to know.

After we heard the normal commotion from the rest of the group, we got dressed and prepared for the day. Putting my crossbow back over my shoulder felt so good, I knew something was missing... I left my hair down, my outfit choice not really changing. I was back to wearing my skinny jeans, boots, and muscle shirts (tank tops).

"Ready?" Daryl asks standing by the front door

With a nod, I followed him out to everyone else. The walk wasn't long, but I did pick up on the fact that the house Daryl and I were staying in was farther away than everyone else's. It didn't bother me that we were farther, it was more space. But it also left us more vulnerable and defenseless if a hoard happened to stumbled by.

"Dodger!" I heard Carl yell, kicking out of my thoughts

"Carl!" I held my arms open to him, Judith in his arms

I took Judith from him and hugged them both tightly.

"I thought the church was it..." Carl said quietly so only him and I could hear

"Oh come on, I'm not that weak" I tease, a small smile forms on his lips

"Mama..." Judith says resting her head on my shoulder

"Oh Judith..."

"She wouldn't stop calling you, well mom, the whole time..." Carl smiles and fixes her hair

"Well look who it is" Rick calls from behind me

"I'm alive, can ya believe it?" I laugh

"You cheat death so many times, ya know that?"

"Yeah she does" Daryl chimes in