The Ghost of a Lost Racer

Turbulence

"Excuse me, sir. Would you like another Bacardi?" a female voice says from the aisle way. I look up from my iPhone 6s, to see a flight attendant with a 3oz bottle in her hand.

"I'm sorry?" I ask as I glance at the two empty bottles sitting on my tray.

"Another drink?" she replies gesturing to the bottle in her hand.

"Uh... Sure, but can I also have a Monster? I don't need to get tipsy" I reply and chuckle to myself.

Handing the bottle to me, she comments, "I think you are doing fine compared to your friend over there".

I look behind her to see Ace with two bottles in each hand and one in her mouth.

"What the hell?" I mutter and stand up. The flight attendant walks towards the for of the 747. As I attempt to step past Alexa, I nudge her leg with my knee on accident.

She stirs awake, "Where you goin' honey?" I smile slightly and reply.

"I gotta fix Ace"

"Fix Ace?"

I don't reply and step over to Ace. Next to her where Pony should be is a pile about a mile high with little plastic liquor bottles. Ace looks up at me and waves like a little kid with some bottles in her hand.

"Okay... I think that is enough" I say and pop the bottle out of her mouth.

With a huge childish smile, Ace replies "No!" And pops another bottle in her mouth.

I chuckle, "I think that's enough" and take that one from her lips.

"Nope" she replies and pops another one opens pushes it drunkidly down her throat.

"Ace!" I laugh and Pony comes from the lavatory. "I think you got replaced with about 20 bottles of Jack Daniels, Pony".

"Eh, she's fine... If you know what I mean" he replies with a wink.

"Whoa!!! What?" I exclaim amazed.

"I'm just joking" he chuckles and turns to Ace, "Come on, let's get you sobered up: coffee". He leans over and pulls the remaining bottles out of her hands and pulls her up to stand.

"Ooooo!!! I like coffee!!!" she replies and her drunk ears perk up.

Ace helps her up and let's go to go on and ask, "Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk, Boney" she says looking cross-eyes at him.

Confused, Pony replies, "Boney? My name is Pony".

"Pony, Boney, Boner. Oh who gives a shit!" she slurs and takes a step towards the front of the 747.

"HA!" I laugh and sit back down in my seat, but I can still look down the aisle.

Ace is stumbling down the aisle and is about 10 feet away from me. That is, until the plane hit turbulence and drops about 50 feet. Ace, in mid-stride, flies up through the cabin and belly flops on the floor right in front of the flight attendant who is at the front of the cabin in the kitchen.

I cover my mouth to silence my laugh, "Oh my god! Ace, are you okay?"

Pony almost sprints to Ace's side, "Dude, are you okay?"

All of a sudden, Ace just bursts out laughing louder than a cackling hyena. She eventually rolls over and a trickle of blood taints her lip. "I flew like damn squirrel!"

"Yeah, sure you did. Any farther and you would have met the pilots" Pony as he kneels over her.

"Pilots? What are those?!" she exclaims like the meme and bursts out laughing.

By now, just about everyone in First Class are staring while Alexa and I are just sitting in our seats laughing as the flight attendant comes back to Ace with a wet napkin to clean her face. She obviously saw Ace fly.

"Ma'am, are you okay? You flew about 15 feet" she says politely.

"Yeah! Didn't you see it? I was a fu king squirrel! Lol I said, 'Fu-king' like Kung-Fu" Ace replies drunker than a skunk.

"Okay, why don't we get you back to your seat. And get you a cup of coffee?" the flight attendant asks kindly.

"Sure!" she bellows as Pony and the flight attendant help her up. "Do you know why we are going to Tokyo?"

"I have no clue. Why don't you tell me?" she replies as she throws Aces arm around her shoulder along with Pony.

"Well, we're fugitives of the law!" Ace yells. Pony, Alexa and I's expressions change quickly to a stern and frightened look. "We were the ones who robbed the Aria back in Vegas!"

The flight attendant stops in her tracks and looks at Ace with a serious face, but it quickly changes back to normal and blows her off. The three of us let our breaths go and breathe.

"Sure you are! And I am the queen of England!" she replies, continuing back to Aces seat.

"You look just like her. Your very pretty! Can I kiss you?" Ace replies.

"What? Um... No" she answered scared and uncomfortable.

"I am so sorry about her. She's never had this much to drink at much" Pony says trying to straiten this all out.

"Oh it's fine. Just let me take the trash and I will get her a cup of coffee" she says as they both put Ace down in her chair who is smiling like a little kid with a lolly-pop.

"Thank you" Pony says and sits down Ace as the flight attendant walks away with about 20 empty bottles of Jack Daniels.

I crack open the last bottle of my Bacardi and speak over to Pony, "Holy shit, that was close".

"I know, I know. I was like, 'Oh shit, we are done'".

"Me too. At least we know that we can't let Ace get this drunk again" I reply as the flight attendant walks up with a 12oz cup of coffee.

"Thank you again" Pony says as he takes the coffee from her hand.

"Your welcome. Just ding if you need anything else" she replies and walks back towards the cockpit.

"Will you attempt to get her sober again? We don't need her to spill our beans, or even come close to it again" I ask and lean back into the seat.

"Sure. My pleasure" Pony replies sarcastically and baby feeds the coffee to Ace.

"Oh great" I mumble and empty the small bottle of rum in one gulp. The fresh taste of the drink burns my throat. "This is the best damn horse piss I've ever tasted, if I do say so myself".

I pick up my iPhone 6s again and go back to watching Netflix.