Secrets (A Lauren Cimorelli Romance Story)

Letting my guard down?

**Lauren's POV**

     I reached the front door before the rest of my family, and was making a dash for the stair case when my dad stopped me.

     "Lauren, what was that all about? Wait, are you crying?! You're not just tired are you? What really happened last week with that Shawn kid?" My dad questioned me, as the rest of my family stood back and watched us in silence. 

     "Nothings wrong, okay!? Gosh can't you all just leave me alone!? It's like none of you have ever seen a hormonal teenager before, even though you've all lived with like nine different ones at one point or another!" I yelled back in response. 

    I stared down from the steps of the stairs at my family. Their faces were all in complete shock. My three youngest brothers looked mortified, and even Mike was in shock by my attitude. I don't blame them though. I am literally the last sibling my family would expect to have a melt down. I am the chill one. The calm one. I don't have melt downs. They had to know that something happened at the show last week now, there was no way they could even ignore it at this point...there was no way I could avoid it anymore either. I've been trying so hard since the incident to act like nothing happened, or to at least act like my normal self. But I can't. It's like something has changed inside of me, but I can't figure out what exactly. All I know is I'm not the same Lauren I was. I've changed. Maybe even permanently. 

     "Lauren Cimorelli! What has gotten into you! You cannot talk to your parents like that, and you know that!" My mom yelled back at me.

    I could tell she was about to say something else, but before she had the chance I had already turned around and started running to my room. 

     "I don't believe her! Come on Mike let's go figure out what's going on." I could hear my mom say to my dad from my room.

     "No wait!" Christina spoke up, "Let us talk to her. This seems like the time for a 'sister talk'."

     I could hear footsteps echoing up the stairway from my bed. The next thing I knew there was a knock at the door.

     "Lauren can we come in?" I heard Christina ask in a hushed voice through the doorway.

     "Who is 'we'?" I responded.

     "Katherine, Lisa, Amy, Dani, and I. That's it. No one else"

     "Fine. Come in."

     I was lying on my bed on top of my sheets, my face buried in my pillow. I could feel a couple of bodies sink down onto the foot of my bed, but I still didn't look up.

     "Lauren, do you want to tell us about what happened last week, or are we going to have to pry it out of you?" Lisa spoke up.

    I quickly sprang into a sitting position on my bed, found Lisa sitting at the foot, made eye contact with her, and spoke in a harsh tone, "Neither because nothing happened."

     "Lauren are you being serious? We're not stupid. Something happened. you've been avoiding everyone since after the meet and greet last week, you've been acting really jumpy and upset, and to top it all off you're literally crying right now." Dani spoke next. 

     I hadn't even realized the steady set of tears that were now rolling down my cheeks. What is wrong with you Lauren! Stop crying. Stop crying. They can't find out what happened. 

"Find out what? Lauren you're scaring me!" Katherine spoke in a panicked tone. I must have been thinking out loud. Dangit. 

"Nothing. Really! can you guys just leave me alone?!" My voice rose by the end of the question.

"No! Look Lauren, whatever happened you can't keep it to yourself. Clearly that stradegy  is just making things worse for you." Amy said.

"Look if you guys aren't gonna leave then I guess I will." On the note I got up and stormed out of the room, leaving my dumbstruck sisters in shock. I dashed down the steps and walked right out the front door ignoring the protests from my parents as I went. I knew they wouldn't follow me. I needed time to myself to think, and I knew that they would figure that out. 

I reached the street and began walking realizing after a couple of minutes that I no idea where I was headed. I was blindly walking. My head spinning with thoughts. Tears streaming down my face.

Suddenly a voice spoke up behind me, "You know it's probably not the best idea to be wondering the streets alone at dusk in the condition you are in."

I whipped my head around and found myself face to face with Shawn.

I tried my best to compose myself before speaking up, "Oh, hey Shawn."

"I'll join you?" He asked. I didn't feel much like company, especially from him for obvious reasons, but I knew that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. So, I simply shrugged my shoulders and continued to walk forwards. 

We walked in silence for a while, and it was actually kind of nice just having his presence there with me. Eventually we reached a park that was about a block away from my house. We aimlessly made our way over to an apple tree on a hill that over looked the play area, and sat down.

We sat in silence for a while, observing the children merrily playing on the playscape, so innocent and free. Eventually I broke the silence, "You know, if you're expecting me to start spilling my guts to you about what happened last week, I would't hold your breathe."

"Don't worry. That's not why I'm here." He responded, glancing over at me as he spoke.

"Then why did you come?" I asked in a curious tone.

"Because I know what you're going through, and I know how it feels to feel like you can't talk to anyone about something. Because they'd be ashamed or disgusted. I know how it feels to feel alone. I know that even if you're not ready to talk about it, just having a shoulder to cry can make all the difference. So, mines wide open if you need it." He responded, motioning to his shoulder as he spoke.

I was shocked. What did he mean by, 'I know what you're going through', and how did he seem to know exactly how I felt right now.

"No offense, but I really doubt you know exactly what I'm going through." I said, looking into his eyes which were suddenly filled with sorrow.

"Actually I do, sort of. I was never sexually abused, but my father did physically abuse me for over a year before I finally found the courage to speak up and tell my mother. So, no I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I'm about as close as I can get." Shawn responded. 

I sat there in shock for a moment. I couldn't believe it. 

"Shawn I'm so sorry I'm an idiot."

"It's fine you didn't know, and no you're not. Don't ever say that about yourself. Don't ever degrade yourself like that."

I wanted to respond with a thank you, but the second I opened my mouth I burst into tears. I buried my hands into my face, and the next things I knew I was being engulfed by what I assumed were Shawn's arms. Strange thing was I didn't resist his touch this time. I actually embraced it. I rested my head on his chest, and continued to sob while he stroked my hair.

I felt so safe and secure in his arms. I don't know wether it was the fact that he tried to save me last night from that man, or the fact that he related to my situation, or maybe both, but I felt such a strong connection with Shawn. I know that this sounds awful, but I'm kind of glad he has such a messed up past. Because I feel like we were meant to find each other. I feel like we were meant to heal each other.

A/N: Hey! I'm not sure if anyone is reading this, but if you are please let me know if you like this  story, and whether I should continue with it or not. Also if you have any suggestions for the story, and what should happen from here, I'd love to hear them!