I check my phone . Oh great I gotta get her off my case . I think awhile later then I text her .
To : Avalon
Sure call me a jerk .
It's ok , but don't worry ,
I won't be in your life any longer ! :)
Have a nice day .
Bye !
I hope she realized what it meant . I take my keys and told my dad I was going to meet up with Nicole which I was after I went to the hospital.
As I arrived I went to the doctor I trusted . The secretary said I could go to his room , when I entered I saw him at his desk writing on a note pad .
Hello doctor . I say .
Hello Alex please take a seat ! He suggests
I sit and wait for him .
What seems to be the problem . He asks me smiling .
There's no problem really . I say .
Ok then what's the situation ! He asks me .
I want to know is taking that special biopics that kills you , is it illegal in this country to use it ? I ask .
The doctor looked at me as if I was joking , but then he saw I was serious .
Yes , it is . He says sighing .
Please give me a small bottle of the pills please . I say crying .
Ok . He says .
He gets me the bottle and I pay him there with cash . I grab the bottle and stuff it in my bag as I walk out I pretend the doctor told me happy news .
When I got home I told Nicole I won't be able to make it any more ill be busy for awhile .
As I hide the tablets under my bed mattress I relax abit and take deep breaths . Should I take those pills ? Or should I wait awhile ? I decide to wait .
But , I don't want to live any more . No one is going to make me change my mind at all !
I get a glass of water , and I take two tablets I put it in my mouth and drink it . The doctor said if I finish the whole bottle then I can think about me slowly but surely getting weaker and loosing my air more .
When I drank the tablets , I felt pains shocking through my body I drank two more tablets then I started sweating .
I took three more , then I started getting a head ache . I had 6 more tablets .
I drank three more I started throwing up and getting really bad cramps .
I drink the last three . I got numb in my body , and couldn't see to good . After awhile the symptoms stopped and I should be back to normal , for now .
I just hope , Avalon is happy that I'm out of this world forever . And Niall and every one . I feel sorry for those who I'm suffering but they wouldn't last a day in my shoes they would want to run and scream and try getting out .
If only life could be that easy that you could be your self and no one would judge you .
I want my childhood back . That's all .
