Do you ever feel like no matter what you do and however hard you try,you can never fit in. Well, that has been the only constant thing in my life: feeling like an outcast.
Throughout my miserable middle school years I was invisible. Of course it did not help that I had a pair of huge honking glasses always up my nose, was a brace face, and had really bad acne, and to top it all of I was really clumsy. I used to walk those bustling halls alone.
It was the summer after eighth grade that I decided that I couldn't remain invisible any longer, in August I was going to be a freshman for Christ sake!
So that summer I went to a sleep away camp. Mind you I had grown a good pair of boobs, and my acne had started clearing up. I was adamant with my parents about not wearing glasses and forced them to buy me a pair of contacts.
The night before camp, I looked into the mirror and for once felt good about myself. This summer everything is going to change! I kept chanting in my mind, hoping that if I continued to think it, it would come to pass.
When we arrived at camp, I remember feeling such confidence that I feared that I was burning up. I had changed out of the camps uniform t-shirt into a tank top to showcase my "money makers". Unfortunately my clumsiness, the only thing that I couldn't fix, got in the way, again. I had gotten help from a male camp counselor that was H-O-T. He offered to carry all of my bags for me. I started to feel myself, and tried to sashay off the bus when one of the stairs caught my foot and there I was, casually tumbling down the staircase of the bus with the hot camp counselor in front of me with his eyes literally bulging out of his head at the sight. I was so ashamed that I didn't notice the crowd that was beginning to form around me. Heat started to crawl upwards from my neck to my cheeks, heart pounding fiercely in my chest.
I wondered what all of the buzz was about and looked downward only to find that my "sexy" tank top was pulled down all the way, exposing my boobs, to the whole freaking camp! I tried to act nonchalant about the fact that my breasts were being showcased but the heat in my cheeks said otherwise. I made a mess of myself trying to get up from the gravel, until the counselor came to help me up. I told him thank you sheepishly, and kept my head down for the rest of the day.
So much for not being invisible.
This trip just turned awkward.
