I'm not the only one.

Plans in Motion

After talking to Kaylie for hours making  plans and figuring out who would do what, we realize something. We've both been lied to for very, very long. He met her soon after we married. On our honeymoon actually. Said he was on some work trip. Gave her the same story he gave me. And they have a child together. Well kind of he's a step dad to her daughter and here I've been trying to talk him into having kids with me, you know starting a family. The whole time he already has one. They got married two years ago at the time he told me he had to follow some guy to Germany for possible fraud. He was with her on their own honeymoon and he told her he wanted to have a kid with her. In my mind all I could think of was why her? Why does she get the family and here I am begging him. To start a family, to travel to exotic places, to begin a new chapter in our lives. But he already has it, with her..... What am I to him? I tried talking to her about not going through with the plan. But she wouldn't back down and in the end she was right.

If we don't take care of this problem then he'll move on and do it to others. If we tried telling everyone we would look like the bad people. Everyone loves him. He's the all around "perfect" person. He's a pillar of the community kind of guy. His Pastor loves him. Everyone does. And we're both nothing. Small town girls who fell in love with a big fake who will get what's coming to him. Because neither of us are willing to back down. I know I won't be walked all over. I spend the rest of the day making my own plans. Preparing myself for what I'm about to do. The sin that I am going to commit. But at this point I don't think anything could make me more happy. He will pay for everything he's done to us, to me.

'Okay I can do this. Just a little acting. Gotta make him believe. Believe that nothing is wrong. That I know nothing.' I tell myself tying to prepare myself for when he'll walk through the front door. 'I can do this' I repeat to myself one more time. I start to get ready for wok even though I have the next two nights off I already told him I had to work. I could say they called and said I didn't need to go in, but then that would mess with the plans. So I ready myself, just going through the motions. 

Arms wrap around my waist, his lips going to my neck as he says. "Hey baby" I jump a little startled I was zoned out staring in the mirror. I did my makeup today to hide the puffiness from crying. "Hmm you look gorgeous." I apparently zoned out for a while because I'm still in my under ware. His hands start to travel up and down my body and all I want to do is throw up. "Maybe we could have a little quickie before you leave for work. Or you could call out, when was the last time you took a vacation? We could go somewhere just you and me and maybe a beach." He whispers in my ear. I plaster on a smile while turning in his arms.

"Hmmm sounds lovely but can't I'm already running late." I voice then pull out of his arms no longer able to stand being in his arms. Everything I ever thought was a lie. I grab my clothes off the bed and walk into the bathroom closing the door behind me. As soon as the door is closed I drop the clothes and put my hands against the sink holding myself up as I fight the tears. I've gotta get myself in check ten more minutes and I'll be walking out the door away from him.

"Hey baby, you okay in there?" He asks while knocking on the door. I jump once again startled. "Yea I'm fine." I answer back throwing my clothes on. I open the door to see him smiling down at his phone. Is he texting her? Is she holding up her side of the plans? Can I really do this? Hell yes I can! This bastard took my virginity, took my heart my trust my love happiness everything, walked all over it shattered it destroyed everything I thought we could be, that we'd have. He won't get away with it. I'll show him. We both will.

"Hey, you did your makeup today something big happening at work today?" He says walking toward me. I walk in any other direction just to get away from him. I can't stand having his slimy dirty hands on me. I grab my bag while talking to him. "Uh yea some big wigs are coming in to check out the new wing we're gonna open in a month." I come up with the lie fast hoping he buys it. "Huh you never said anything about opening a new wing. What's it for?" He asks. Shit. What do I say? "Oh it's nothing big. Gotta go. I'll see you in the morning." I say while giving him a peck on the cheek like I always do before I leave. But as I start to pull away he grabs my waist pulling me against him smashing his lips to mine in the process. My mind goes blank for a split second. I want to pull away so bad but that's not what I would normally do. So I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Then everything seems to start to fade. And I can almost forget everything he's done. ALMOST. I pull away.

"Although I would love to continue that I do have to leave." I say half jogging out of the door. Before getting to my car I lean over a bush and throw up. Oh my god I kissed him back. I actually for a moment forgot and kissed him back. I miss everything we use to be when it was just me and him. Or well when I thought it was just us. But I guess it never really was. I get in my car and head to the motel I got earlier in the day.

Two more days and everything will change. My heart breaks a little more already mourning the man I loved the one who I thought loved me. The man who will die......