Freakshow 〰 Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Ch. 1 - Fart Aid

Edited - JAN. 1, 2016

ᑕᕼ. 1 - ᖴᗩᖇT ᗩIᗪ

I was fourteen seconds from jabbing a pair of safety scissors through my eye.

As a descendant of my uncle's- that owned the beloved Smart Aid superstore- I was forced to work at one the of stupid stores as a god damn legacy. Twenty seven in Sarasota County, and one hundred fifteen in all of Florida, and they decided I should work in the same store as my older brother, Jacob.

Jacob looked a lot like me- we had similar hair- until I dyed it, that is- along with the same eyes, noses, and ears. We didn't even act like normal siblings- we acted like best friends. We would fight and argue, but the friend kind of arguing- the stuff that makes you feel so bad you apologize an hour later or you instantly forget your argument. It was weird, and sometimes our relationship even freaked me out.

One thing we both hated was working at this damn store. During our breaks, we would experiment with degrading nicknames for the place- Smart Meth, Fart Aid, The Druggie Hotspot. We tried everything to get fired- called customers drug addicts, pretended to steal babies, goof off in the costume isle by dressing up as a fairy princess unicorn astronaut.

Okay maybe all those were me, but this place fucking sucks.

Today, Shelley asked us to stack adult diapers- a degrading job as any- but creating the pyramid masterpiece was pretty accomplishing. While stacking it up, one of the workers went over to me. I was currently in a difficult game of catch with Jacob, so in all honesty, I was barely paying attention.

"Hey, Rosie?" I chucked the box at him, laughing when it almost hit Jacob's face.

"What's up?"

"Can you man checkout 4?" Checkout. I couldn't stand that place. Having to be nice to people and type in all those numbers for the vegetable bags and shit. I especially hated when I got someone who didn't know how to put their stuff on fast enough and I'd have to wait three minutes in between scanning each item. Just being nice to people in general was a fucking stretch.

"Um, could you?" I grabbed the box Jacob chucked, grunting awkwardly as I only caught it by my fingertips and almost had it hit the boy talking to me. I glare at Jacob as he laughs before I put the box on the pyramid, ending our game poutingly.

"Um, I gotta take my break." I roll my eyes in annoyance to Jacob before turning to the kid- his name tag read Jesse.

"Hey Jesse, it's just, I gotta stack this stuff or Shelley is gonna be up my ass. You can take that checkout area, right?" His eyes unfocused for a moment, as if thinking, before looking with me with a wide grin. I let myself have a winced smile.

"Sure, Rose!" He walks away as Jacob snorts at me, making me turn to him in curiosity.

"What?"

"'You can take that checkout area, right?'" He mimicked me with a high pitched voice and a flirtatious tilt, making me roll my eyes as I stacked a few more boxes.

"What can I say?" I wink, pretending to shake my hips in a sexy manner. "I'm just irresistible."

He chuckled at me sarcastically. "Yeah, right."

In a way, I suppose I was. For years, I had asked people to do stuff- even ridiculous things like throwing stuff at lifeguards and lighting their homework on fire- and they'd do most of it. Every time I mentioned it to my Granddad, Abraham, he'd just stroke my hair and say," You were born special, Rosalina. Always have been, always will be."

My Granddad is kind of a nutcase.

Nonetheless, twenty minutes later, we created our replica of the Empire State Building, looking at it in accomplishment. Shelley walked up as we were admiring it and I resisted the urge to punch her face in. She was an annoying bitch and I wish she would just fire me.

"You used Neverleak." She observes, frowning and I barely stopped myself from muttering," No, I had no fucking idea!" Instead I stay silent and raise a single eyebrow to express my sarcasm. "The sales on Stay - Tite."

"I thought you said Neverleak." My brother says, while I answer at the same time.

"I know you said the damn Neverleak brand." She looks at us with her bland expression and slumped shoulders.

"Stay - Tite." She demands, shaking her head and looking at our beautiful-ass masterpiece like it was a monster. We all sat in awkward silence as her eyes darted from my brother and I to the tower several times, looking a little angry- one of the only emotions I've ever seen from her. Finally my brother gasps.

"Ohhhhhh." He realizes," You mean you want us to do it over?" It was my turn to be angry- there was no way that I was going to be able to make that amazing creation again, and she was just being a bitch about it. If she thinks I'm going to make that thing again than she can suck it.

"It's just that you used Neverleak." She repeats. I felt like I was going to explode, whereas my brother looked calm, even a bit sarcastic.

"No problem, I'll get started right away." I was about to mouth off until I saw the start of his actions- moving his black sneaker to the base of our tower. I grinned silently as he kicked down a box, making it all topple around us. Although I felt a bit annoyed- we spent an hour on that damn thing- I felt a surge of pride as it hit the legs of startled customers and opened the sliding doors, letting in a rush of heat.

She turned into a fire, her face flushing with reds, and I pressed my lips together as my eyebrows drew close, giggling. I knew she wouldn't fire us- we already tried everything. While I went to extremes- even opening a bottle of liquor and chugging it in the middle of the isle- my brother just decided to come in late, and swap things like lotion and laxatives.

Of course, with anyone else, they'd be fired from the beginning, but here we were, standing with sarcastic smirks and silently high fiving behind our backs.

She marched angrily through the sea of diaper boxes, and just as she was going to poke into my brother's chest, the PA system turned on and interrupted her obvious rant.

"Jacob and Rose, you have a call on line two. Jacob and Rose, line two." Jacob backed away while I casually started to sprint away from her, stepping on a box and almost broke my ankle.

"Oh, damn it!" I shouted quickly, trying to get past it. I eventually let the busted box be and ran after Jacob, who was laughing avidly at me, leaving our angry boss and a pile of adult diapers.

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• ᗰᗩᖇIᔕᔕᗩ •

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Question; What do you think of Rosalina?