Part 9 Nicole

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"Skip dinner, end up thinner"
That's what I kept telling myself. But Ryan was RIGHT THERE. He wants me to get better just as much as I want him to. I can't believe we're practically the same person, or at least dealing with the same hell. Maybe we're both angels dealing with our own lucifer. Fucking hell. I woke up at 3:37 am and I went to the bathroom. I recently found out how to purge, so I did it. Every night. When Ryan was dead asleep, he's a deep sleeper, thank god. But now I'm wondering if he does the same thing when I'm at work. I work as a tattoo artist, I don't look like one. I look like a hair dresser, everyone tells me that. With my light brown, curly hair, green eyes, but dress with band t-shirts that I get from the heavenly place I call home, hot topic. Me and Ryan go there AT LEAST once a month. I love that place, I wish my house smelled like that. Anyways, on with my ACTUAL thoughts. I have a sleeping problem where I wake up multiple times a night, therefore when I do wake up and purge. It's not a good thing, I know that. But I can't help it, it's like a drug. Once you start you can never stop.

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