Bittersweet (discontinued?)

I'm Over It

Chapter Eleven// I'm Over It

Was she going to kill me? Why is she here? Why was she in my dream? I'm so fucking confused.

"You're scared.." She stated. No shit.. I thought. "I Understand.." She sat down next to me. I scooted away but she just stared into my eyes, smiling, like she knew something. I broke the silence and spoke. "So you're real.. how did you get into my dream when I was in a coma?"

She sighed. "I wasn't lying when I told you about who I was. I just saved you when I saw you were suffering in what is supposed to be a better reality. Not a 'damned hell'" She referred to when I was talking to the doctor. I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion, "So can you tell me about this supposed lucid dreaming.. I mean, like why I dreamed the people that I did?"

"Well after I 'altered' you in the dream, you did the rest on your own. I just played a sort of fairy godmother role that motivated you to continue your dream as, well, what you would consider the dream. And that dream for you involved people who accepted you. Or was beginning to until your time was up."

"So you know everything that happened in my dream?" She thought for a moment. "Pretty much." She smiled. I remember a part in my dream when I was on my way to Ava's house for the first time and I saw the spray painted building that hinted I wasn't in reality. "The spray-painted building?" She smiled and nodded. "That was my work." She said. "And.. you know about Hunter..?" I asked slowly.

She looked taken aback for a moment then cleared her throat. "You should r-really forget about him. He was a toxic part of your dream, a mysterious boy in your interest. It intrigued you but didn't end well." She said without looking me in the eye. Something told me she was not telling the truth, but even if she was lying. He isn't real and I doubt there is anything more than that. Possibilities are quite limited and mild with the nonexistent. Also he's just some boy I had an interest in because he was so mysterious.. Nothing I can't get over honestly, though it would be a lie if I said I'm not disappointed about that part of my dream. But also be a lie if I said I'm not relieved about parts of the dream being completely fake. Like when my dad died and having the live with someone as bitchy as Ava.

I realized I'm not the best at creating my own world because my dog Rory kept disappearing and reappearing over and over again throughout the dream, so I guess my mind didn't think out every little bit of the dream. Whatever I decided to press her for answers a bit more.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I raised a brow. Eliza's frowned but still didn't look directly into my eyes, "Why would I lie?."

"I don't know.. I just-" She cut me off in an assertive tone, she looked me in the eye and I could see she was quite through with my questions. "Look Kat, what happened in your dream is no longer important.." She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath before continuing calmly this time. "Just focus on returning to your stable life in a positive way, no more holding onto what you thought was or was not real. The world you woke up to? That's real. Do you understand?" Her big blue-grey eyes bored into mine.

I understood, I understood completely... what she was asking of me. I just don't think I could do what she's asking me to do. How could I? It was a world I made up in my head and lived in my head, but I have a feeling I don't know everything about it just yet. But I will.. that I know. That I understand.

***

I laid in my bed once again, waiting for the doctor to give me his final decision about releasing me from the hospital because I've been showing 'good signs of recovery'. Though that's a lie and I still think about what happened everyday, it's hard to.. and I try not to..