Watermelon [Wonwoo] #2 ✔

24

28/6/2012

I've done some fucked up shit before but this was by far the worst. What was I thinking? I can just leave anytime I want? Like Cassie? And leave my mother alone like that?

I'm so sorry mother and I wish I could say this to you face to face. But I you know how bad I am at communication. I hope you understand my heart. I didn't mean to hurt you.

I've been selfish. I've been over here feeling betrayed all by myself, forgetting that you lost someone who you literally carried in your stomach for nine months and then gave birth to. How it affected you, I never thought about that. It was always me, my problem, my feelings. But the fact that you worked so hard to feed us, i just took that for granted. I ignored all your efforts, and aunts efforts and hell even mingyu tried to help me but I rejected all of you.

I'm so so sorry.

If i could go back in time, I'd stop myself from taking those pills.

I always thought i only had Cassie but i was wrong. And I realized that when i saw your face mother the first thing when i woke up. You looked broken. And it made me want to cry because i knew it was because of me. I imagined how it was like for you, to lose one daughter and watch another fall into depression and not being able to help and then almost losing that too. I realized you had it so much worse than me.

I can only say sorry to you. It should've been us consoling each other, we're all we have left but i only pushed you away...

I'll get better, mom.

Please just watch over me a bit longer.