Distress

Five

CAMERON

That beat up so fast. I hardly know if I should really believe them for forgiving me, and all but this is a true surprise. What I did was a complete mess, and if I am to Aaron's situation, I would never ever forgive myself let alone forget all of the mess I turned to.

I am currently on my room, doing nothing honestly. Through the fact that I am bored, I don't have anything to talk to since the boys are all occupied. Carter and Shawn decided to be alone in their own houses, Nash, Matt and Taylor said they are staying with Aaron for a while and the Jack's are up to meet their girlfriends, I am completely stuck. Maybe, walking around the town won't be a harm right? Will I ever see Jake again? If yes, well I guess I'll just um.. walk away?

The bruises are quite vanishing, I am kind of happy they aren't serious, not just like Aaron's but what kills me is that my guilt washes into my body until now. I don't really know, I feel so bad for what I did, I have no idea how to repay Aaron for his sudden forgiveness, that's what really kills me inside my soul. He was so kind, and out of a sudden, gentle. He caught me by surprise, I told myself the day at the hospital to be ready for his punches, and harsh words and I even thought worse than that. But.. what he did was wow, he hugged me and I feel ten times worst friend.

I grab my towel 'cause it's quite warm outside, but then it's not burning. My feet hurts a little bit, but it will not matter as of now, it's completely okay. The way everything hurts inside me, is all that matters. I left the keys 'cause I'll be not as far away as I wanted, I still have to rest after this, probably it's just confusing to know that I am out of my own little games, and those games are playing girls. Probably also due to the incident happened between me and Aaron, I'm afraid it will happen again, not for my likeliness.

I shivered, wow, Cameron Dallas really feels so hopeless and so dumb right now? I can't believe that I show myself strong, but most definitely, I am not. I am scared like heck, I have no intention to know why, this is my weakness, letting down my friends or anyone close to me.

I continue to walk, but I think walking isn't helping right now, it's much boring than I thought. Grabbing my phone, I dialed Nash, but he's not picking up. Ugh why? But then, I decided to turn my feet back on the trail of my house. This isn't right, I should be at the clubs right now, or let's just say in someone's house, pinning a girl on the wall but.... no, yeah.. that's a good idea Cameron! But really? In the middle of the day? The sun brights like crazy? Oh no, I'd rather be cozy at my bed.

But that's a one good benefit though, why not aye? Maybe I'll see a hot chick right now, and who knows, she's into me, seducing me first than me taking the place.

Okay, okay Cam let's just say you're tired right now, you can't do that right at this moment and in your state. Fine, I won't. I drag myself back at my house, this is so crazy, am I really declining my perverted thoughts? Am I really ready to change everything? Hell no, I'll do it soon. Just... wait.

I opened the door, set my towel back on the rack, I rub my temples, so much is going on in my head, I can't think straight, on whatever I should do. But surely, it has something to do with me, and my arrogance somehow fades. My hair is unruly as I touched it, I decided for a cup of tea.

I stomp my feet to the tile, grabbing a cup and do my business.

NASH

"Yeah I get it. Okay, I'll be soon bye." I hung up. Woah, that's too surprising, never of thought she will stay here for a month, but I'm much more worried that the boys haven't met her, but let me tell you, I am afraid any of them will fall for her, I mean come on! She's pretty, and I know the boys will drool over her. I just can't take it, what if- okay stop now Nash.