Distress

Twenty-Three

CAMERON

"Are you serious right now?" Sierra's flinching confusion takes over her, as she completely glared down my way. I know, I know I have made the stupid rumour about Shawn but I couldn't blame myself from falling so hard with this girl. So hard that I risked her own life for my guilty pleasure. Have I gone completely crazy?  This is the void I willingly enter without looking ahead for consequences and damn just slap me now.

"I freaking know this isn't about dad, you're just afraid Avery will know that I'm about to tell her what Shawn "supposed" plan is against her with all of you involved."

"Are you kidding me?! Are you really that nuts Sierra!" I mutter shouting.  I grasp my hair in complete frustration.

"Oh yeah call me nuts if you need to but don't you dare stop me from telling her all your stupid games."

"Sierra.." I sigh, I felt like there's nothing I could do in this world at the current memento but to sigh.

"Please, don't."

She looks at me flabbergasted and seemed to be blinded by the cautious emotions I tend to show her. I can't just say to her they're all lies because I know the story will be somewhat different from my perspective. I don't know, I can't do it again to her, considering the relationship Tara and I had. That almost killed me. That almost lost me by the edge.

"No Cameron, you clearly know the purest intention I had to show her. But you tell me one thing first, were you lying?"

That made me swallow the growing lump in my throat. I am caught off-guard but I knew she would ask me now or never. I silently choke on my words, yes, yes I am. And yes, Shawn is in love with her.

"No." I gulped the fiery taste of greed that runs down my throat for a very long time.

It hasn't occurred to me that Sierra's gaze never left my existence. It's like she's looking through my soul this entire time and I am guarded.

"I can't believe you." She slowly shakes her head towards mine. And my body goes completely numb.

"Fine."

I walk off, feeling as if my walls are wrecked with my egoistic intention. Thus I can eradicate the guilt I have intended because of my sister. I can't keep doing this to her. But I also do not want to take the risk of having to make myself look like a selfish bastard. I just can't.

I take a turn to the guest room where I slump my body into the love seat I am guessing Nash picked. And slowly, my eyes droop to themselves as I drifted to a far void of worry and exhaustion.

AVERY

I decided I would rather go in my room and find my fate on finally updating Thomas about earlier than to silently peek around the hallway to find out any information they had to discuss with the right of timing against Sierra's proposals to me. My mind constantly runs over the fact that my anxiety is larger than my current conscience. Either way, I am still uncomfortable and felt as if Cameron's sudden presence is way too far to believe.

"You alright?" I almost lost grip on my phone as I heard Nash's voice behind me. I turn to glare at him this time, I mean it's honestly lame to disturb someone so serious and focused at the same time.

"Why do you always show up whenever I'm running my own whereabouts? Ugh."

"I'm sorry you moody sass, I just felt the need to check up on you like you know, about Shawn?"

"It's fine and no, I don't want hearing the same name over and over again."

"What, why is that?"

"Don't you see? It's all about Shawn until this freaking time. Seems as if even he's not around, his presence still bugs me and thanks to you Nash for accompanying Shawn's name with you towards talking to me wherever." I groan, my mind's preoccupied from all the blabbers coming out from both my and others' minds. I mean, the least thing I could do right now is to think of such angst and just finally hover in the bed.

His eyes are glued on the floor and seems a little taken back from my assumptions. I feel sorry yes, because this is the first time I've ever yelled at Nash in a certain discussion. I look away, as I also felt the uncomfortable atmosphere engulfing the room. And just like that, the silence takes over.

It's almost late, almost the time to snore away the conundrums throughout the day. But here we are, with the same blood we carry the feeble power of nocturnals. All because of the famous Shawn Mendes.

I can hear his breathing in the room. He isn't backing up, not claiming the chance to barge out of the door and not waste time on me anymore. He's just standing there, as if the whole universe took over his little mind. Staring at the same spot, almost with a not functioning presence.

"Shawn is not someone you need. You're right Avery."

"Yeah, I have been coming into realizations too."

"But you still have to believe you know."

Now it's my turn to gaze over him, to see if there is an emotion in his eyes that predicts positivity at least.

"That if there is still a little light to shine over the dim island you both live in."

And with that, I am taken aback.

I couldn't believe Nash is capable of such words, such astonishing words that can bring back the string of needs I need the greatest.

He leaves the room with a silent dodge and I am left dumbfounded along the way. I sit on the edge of the bed trying to criticize everything.

Making one thing not oblivious.

Shawn is so fucking hard to love.

And I am the primary lover.