The 100 Lies of Alice

Chapter 3: Lost in Thoughts

"The hearts start breaking as the year is gone

The dream's beginning and the time rolls on

It seems so surreal, now I sing it.

Somehow I knew that I would be this way,

Somehow I knew that I would slowly fade.

Now I'm gone, just try and stop me now." --All American Rejects

This is for Yasmine Urbano. For giving us tips. Thanks Yas! :">

Chapter 3: Lost in Thoughts

Curse that girl! I was sitting on the grass lawn of the campus under the shade of a tree with my headphones on. And all the memories started coming back...again.

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*Even though I knew that this part was inevitable. I still felt railroaded by a freight train with this situation. I felt numb inside.

My dad has packed all his clothes. He had already brought down his third suitcase from the room he and my mom shared. I don't know what to do. I just stood and stared from the terrace of my room. Even if I wanted to tell him not to leave us and stay by our side, I couldn't. I didn't want my mom to suffer any more pain that she couldn't bear. I knew that her emotions and her wits were scattered to a point where a person who was not as strong as her may lose sanity. Whenever she's with me, it was just like before. It was like everything's normal, that nothing bad happened; that the divorce was just a piece of paper she plainly signed for the sole purpose of ending a deal. Maybe she doesn't want me to see her weak side. But all in all, I knew for a fact that she was deeply affected.

For a while, Mom stayed in her office because she was supposed to finish a chapter in one of her romance novels. "The zombies returned my brain and boost my brain cells." She joked heartily. Deep inside, I believe that she just wished for a space to release the sadness that were kept for so long, to avert her attention other than seeing her husband go.

By that time, my dad had already put his entire luggage at the back of his car. He was gazing at me with tired eyes. As if he was waiting for me to say that I have changed my mind and I'm not going to stay here; that I would come and live with him instead of mom. My decision was final though. Knowing that this was his fault, I couldn't care any less of what he wanted to do with his life. If he would be living with his mistress from now on and start a new family, then fine.

On the verge of crying, I clenched my fist so hard. But then my tears failed me. Damn, I hate this. My vision suddenly became blurry. My dad ran toward me and hugged me. Why am I hugging him back? No. I hate you Dad. Aren't you happy with us? I wanted to push him away but I couldn't. He is still my dad. No matter what. He will always be.

What am I going to do without him? I had always been a daddy's girl. Who will play kite with me? Who will sit beside me while I am playing the piano? What about my math subject? I will fail now. Who will carry me from home to school when streets are flooded? "Don't talk to strangers. Wait for me when the class ends and don't just leave the campus by yourself okay? Ace the test again. I know you can do it. You have Dad's genes." He bragged making sure that the other parents heard him right.And I would say "Yes Dad, you bet I will!" Then he ruffled my hair and we would do our fist-punch hand shake.

Though he hadn't been a good husband, he was the best dad.

"Babygirl, please don't cry. I can't stay here any longer. Though I want to stay by your side, I can't do that. I've hurt you mom badly and I think the damage I've incurred had already broken her. I can't possibly take you with me because your mom will be devastated." My dad was trying to explain to make me understand the situation.