The List

Chapter 10: Control

BellaPOV

As I approached Edward's door I put the heels on. I took a deep breath and walked into his room to find him standing exactly where I told him. I adjusted the lights in the room so that only the recessed lighting that highlighted his bookshelves was on dimly, then moved to the table next to the leather sofa where I placed the large round candle, the spoon, and the towels. The dim lighting on the other side of the room, the candle, and the occasional flashes of lightning were all that illuminated the room.

Edward kept his eyes on me the whole time. I could feel them boring into the back of me whenever I wasn't facing him. It felt like there was an electromagnetic field between his eyes and my body. Goose bumps broke out on my bare skin.

Fuck! Fuckfuckfucketyfuck! I don't know if I can do this! I don't know if I can do this! Okay, calm down. Fuck.

There was no way he didn't hear my heart hammering against my rib cage. I could feel my pulse in my toes.

Finally, I walked over to stand in front of him. I bit my bottom lip, hard, to keep from breaking out into a big goofy nervous grin. I wanted to be Bad Ass Bella tonight.

I took a deep breath. "I want to remind you of the rules and make you a few promises. But first I need to ask you a question, and you need to be entirely truthful." I looked into his eyes for the first time. "Do you trust me?" He didn't answer, and I started to get worried that he had to think about his answer. But then I realized that he was playing the game, and clearly playing it better than me. "You may speak."

It looked like he stifled a smirk. "Yes."

"Good. Okay, then. First, the rules. You will do what I say. You will speak only when I say. You will not touch me unless I give you permission to. If you disobey a rule there will be consequences. If you disobey the rules twice you will forfeit the turn you have coming."

I paused and met his eyes again to make sure he understood.

"Okay. Well, then, I also want to make you a few promises. I know we have limits and that they are there to keep me safe. I promise to stop immediately if you say 'stop' and to slow down or give you a minute if you say, um, 'wait.'" The heat radiating from his eyes made my voice catch in my throat. I momentarily lost my train of thought. I ended up whispering, "Do you understand? You can answer."

"Yes, thank you." His voice was low.

I needed to get out from under the weight of his gaze for a moment. So I slowly began walking around his body, and I imitated the move he had pulled on me last night when he was admiring me in my new dress. I placed my pointer finger against his bicep and then drug it across his back, across his other bicep, and back around to his chest as I circled him. Keeping my finger against his chest, I slowly let it drop down across his stomach to the waistband of his flannel pants at his hipbone. I felt him go still. I hooked my finger in the pants and pulled them away slightly and smirked. I don't know how but I knew it! He'd put on a pair of boxers under the pants after the shower. I laughed inwardly-apparently he felt he needed extra layers of clothing for protection around me. I wasn't having that.

"Really Edward? You are overdressed. The pants can go." When he hesitated I raised my eyebrows at him. He smirked at me, his face a mixture of amusement, lust, and something else dark that I didn't fully understand. If he ever takes his turn I am so gonna pay for this.

He pulled the flannel pants down and left them in a pile at his feet. The black cotton boxers that he wore were tight and left nothing and everything to the imagination at the same time. I hadn't seen him in five days; it felt like an eternity. That thought made my mouth water and I swallowed hard. He saw me do it.