Filthy Frank's Ship

The Arrival

Elena A. was sitting in her room on her iPhone. She felt a little bit sick, but she didn't know why. No one in her family was sick at the moment. She figured maybe it was from someone at the movie theater when she went with her two best girl friends Bob Duncan and Tyrone. Suddenly, there was a light that came from outside

She peaked through the window. The light had vanished. She thought to herself, "I must be hallucinating..". She took some cold meds and floated back to her bed. Then the bright flashing light appeared again. Before she could check, the NyQuil she had previously to her cold meds consumed her system and she quickly fell asleep, but when she woke up she realized that she was not in her own bed, nor was she in her own room.

"Where am I?" She asked herself.

 "Who's bed is this?" She looked around the room in fear. She held the bottle of NyQuil firmly. Until she heard a voice...

"MY NIGGA U JUST GOT ROASTED!" The voice screamed. 

"That voice sounds familiar, but this place doesn't look familiar at all." She said to herself.

The bed she was on wasn't even a bed at all. It was a metal table with a blanket and pillow on it. The room looked futuristic, not like anything any 2016 homes would have. Suddenly, the door near her opened. She stayed completely still and pretended to still be sleeping. She listened to the door close back behind the person  and the pound of footsteps came closer. Once the footsteps reached the front of her bed they stopped. The person in the room coughed for attention.

 "Well, well, well. Look who we have here." The voice said.

She started to breath heavier and heavier. 

"I know you're awake m8." The voice said.

She knew who it was now. The voice she and her friends obsessed over every day at school. She slowly opened her eyes to see the one and only...Filthy Frank. But he was not alone. Salamander Man was next to him, rubbing his nipples. Pink Guy was behind him, standing there with a blank expression on his face.

"Welcome..." Filthy Frank said. "TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKER!"

"NYEEEEEESSSSS!" Salamander Man screamed.

Pink Guy made a weird noise and smiled creepily at Elena A. 

"I must be dreaming." She said to herself.

"NOPE!!" Filthy Frank said, "Plus, this party is just getting started my n word." 

Pink Guy started making weird noises. Suddenly he pulls a package of top ramen out of his ass. He starts to cook it. Salamander man crawls over to Elena A and gets right into her face and screams 'NYEES". Elena pushed him off and reminded him that she has her own personal space bubble. Salamander Man then wandered off into the dark corner.

"AaaaHhhhAhhh!" Pink Guy screams. "Caaaaaaan somebody gibe da pusi pls?" 

"Not now Pink Guy! I'm about to make a vide-a." Filthy Frank says, setting up a camera that is facing Elena A. He sits down on her bed (table) and says "Hello motherfuckers! It's me. Today we have a very special guest. Introduce yourself." He says, motioning for Elena A to say something. 

She pauses. She wonders if she should say her actual name or not.

"What, are you gonna just sit there?" Filthy Frank asked her. "SAY SOMETHING!"

Elena A. ignored him, and pulled out her phone and pulled up Instagram, and then Snapchat.

"Oh okay, ignore me, I see how it is." Filthy Frank said and got up to turn off the camera. Pink Guy then started screeching louder than normal. "P-Pink Guy what's wrong man?" Filthy Frank asked.

"NNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHhhhHHhh!!!" Pink Guy screamed. He then took Elena A's phone and put it in the top ramen.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" Elena A screamed in anger. 

Frank corrected his glasses a little. He then started to point at her. "What were you doing on social media earlier?" He asked.

"Yeah b0ss why?" Pink Guy asked while still cooking the ramen.

Salamander Man stood by the door, pushing it back so no one could come in. "Nyesssss..." He said. In his language he said, "Senpai, they're here." 

"God damn it! Why do you guys always let entities into the space ship like this?!" Filthy Frank said and rubbed his temples in annoyance. 

"We're on a space ship?!" Elena A screams. 

"Ugh, did you not know that?" Filthy Frank responds. 

Suddenly Pink Guy pulls out a ukulele and starts to sing, "peanut butter on my balls let the dog lick it."

"Ok I don't want to hear that." Elena A says.

Then suddenly the place went mad for no reason. Salamander Man was leaning on the door that was trying to open. "Nyes." He said. In his language he said, "Facebook is here." 

Filthy Frank looked through the peephole. "Oh shit! Twitter is here too!" He scrambled over to Alayna. "QUICK! Brace yourselves!" 

The door flew open and sent Salamander Man flying into a control panel. He groaned in pain at the impact. Facebook stormed in, along with Twitter and Tumblr. 

"Hey wanna play with my timeline?" Facebook asked. Twitter laughed in a stupid way. 

"Fuck! What do we do?" Elena A asked Filthy Frank, while they were hiding under the table.

"I'm so useless...I'm gonna kill myself!" Tumblr whined. 

Pink Guy jumped out with a gun. All of a sudden Filthy Frank's version of "mmm whatchya say" could be heard loudly as Pink Guy shot the entities of the social media website, killing all three of them.

"NYEES!" Salamander Man said. In his language he said, "Instagram will be here soon." 

"Fuck, that's one of the worst ones." Filthy Frank said. But Instagram never came, instead, it was their savior who entered. It was PornHub.

The place got quiet. Pink Guy came and stood on top of the table that Filthy Frank and Elena A were hiding under. He shot a red laser beam out of his dick and it hit PornHub right in the chest, making it fall to its knees and die. Pink Guy then let out a scream and then laughed.

"NO PINK GUY THAT WAS OUR FRIEND!" Filthy Frank yelled.

"Can I go home now?" Elena A asked. 

Filthy Frank laughed. "You don't get it, do you?" He asked.

Elena A was confused. She really didn't get it. 

"We are here, in a space ship. Over a million light years away from earth." Filthy Frank said. 

"Where are we going?" Elena A asked.

"Monoxide 12. Chin-Chin's hideout." He responded.

"But...why?" Elena A asked.

"You are the one who must present the sacrifices." Filthy Frank said. 

"Why me though?" Elena A asked.

Frank sighed. "Because you have to that's why." He responded. "No more questions, we must get there faster now."