Alexa Cullen Sunlight Review
Okay, to start off, the cover is really eye-catching, which is an important part of writing. If the book looks boring, no-one picks it up. Secondly, the title is clever. One short, snappy word that would really catch on in a series. It's great.
Okay, I have a problem with the third paragraph. It starts with "It all started", which is so commonly used with Authors, and you could think of something so much better. I understand that she is telling a story, but I think you should change how you start that sentence. Also in the first chapter, you jumped into Jenna and her friends being aproached by Raiden, maybe you should set the scene a little before that, as I didn't understand where they were. I only understood afterwards that they were in school.
Chapter 2
I quite liked this chapter. I only had one problem with it. Maybe you could have finished what the teacher said they were going to tackle, and have her react badly to it, and then, "Well well well. This is...". As if to say whatever they were learning would make the day worse.
Chapter 3
Maybe you could spell out the time instead of writing the figure? It would look more professional. I like the way the story is now another point of view. Also, maybe you could think of something else to write instead of soft-looking? Maybe something that portrays them equally as soft, but not using the word "soft"?
Chapter 4
Okay, here I really feel Jenna's emotion to how she feels about her mum leaving, and her having to work for her and her dad.
Also, I feel like I know more about Ray. He obviously really loves Jenna, as he watches her, but I also feel like he's a bit of a stalker, and I think I would feel nervous around him. I love the way he says, "I may be the sun, but I can't read minds," which really leaves the reader wondering.
However I think the second page could be a new chapter.
Chapter 6
I love how you are now explaining about Raiden's mother and father and what they are.
And I like the point of view from another character apart from Jenna and Ray. I won't say who, I don't want to ruin it for readers!
Chapter 7
The good thing here is that you are showing Jenna and Ray as opposites, which makes you wonder what the other is thinking. I am also finally understanding about how he says he is a sun.
Instead of writing, "Pizza is one of my mosy favorite foods ever", you might want to change that to, " Pizza is one of my all-time favorite foods". It just sounds nore fitting. In the same paragraph, you have also written "fries" twice. I'm not sure if this is on purpose, but if it isn't, you may want to get rid of one of them.
Overall, I bloody love this story! I will continue to read, and I hope you will take into consideration what I have said!
Thanks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Minty18
