Separated

Five

Chapter5

Sam sat down on the bed across from me and sighed. When I didn't look up at her, she sighed louder. This went on a few more times before I gave in.

"What do you want?" I asked, pulling my earbuds out.

She furrowed her eyebrows but otherwise didn't seem phased. "Do you think mom's mad at me?"

I shrugged and went back to working on my homework. I didn't have an answer for her though I didn't actually care. That was her problem, not mine.

She put a hand over my book, forcing me to look at her. "Em, please."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't care if she is, Sam. I'm busy."

"This is important."

"More important than my homework?"

She sighed. "I just need to know."

"Ask her."

"She'll get mad at me."

"Then there's your answer."

She watched me silently, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you so grumpy?"

"You're bothering me."

"Not because of me. I think there's something else. Is it a boy?"

"Go away, Sam. I don't want to talk to you."

"You mean you don't want to talk about it, right?"

"Just go."

She sighed and jumped off the bed. "I know something's bothering you."

"Get out."

She rolled her eyes at me and left.

Sometimes she was so much like me that it scared me.

--------

"Emma, are you listening?"

I blinked and looked over at Ms. Carter. She was watching me with worried eyes, her hands crossed over her desk.

"What?"

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know. I'm really tired."

"Of what?"

"Just tired. My parents started fighting early this morning. My mom stormed off before I got out of bed."

"Is there anything else bothering you?" It was like she could see through me. Which I figured was a therapist thing.

"Why do you always think something is bothering me?"

She smiled just a little. "I've been meeting with you for almost a year now. I know when something's bothering you. I can see it on your face."

I frowned, wishing I could control my emotions better. Then again, any therapist could pick someone apart.

"Now tell me what's bothering you."

I sighed. "There's this new girl, Tori. We got assigned a project in English and when we were working on it she said I was pushing people away and that's why I have no friends."

Ms. Carter waited patiently. Even after I'd stopped talking, she sat silently.

"I guess it's stupid but I really don't think that's why I have no friends."

"Why do you think you don't?"

"I don't talk to anyone, I'm quiet-"

"Emma, you are not quiet. You may seem like it but I think that is because you don't talk to anyone."

"I talk to you. Though I'm starting to wonder why."

"You have to branch out. Try to make friends."

"That's easier said than done."

"Have you ever tried?"

I shrugged. "I don't know... maybe?"

"I'd like for you to try this week, Emma."

"Please don't make me do this. I'm fine not having any friends." I wanted friends. Who didn't? But I was still fine not having any.

"Emma, you can't tell me you're happy not having anyone to talk to."

"I have you."

"Excluding me."

I sighed. "Why? Why change things? I'm happy the way they are."

"Do you really believe that, Emma?"

Maybe I did want friends but I didn't want things to change. I didn't want people to find out that my parents fought all the time and that it was practically normal for me. I didn't want to be made fun of for that by people who were my friends.

"Things are fine."

She looked at me sympathetically but said nothing. Her signature move.

"Can I go to class now?" I asked, feeling tears coming.

She nodded and I felt her eyes bore holes into my back as I left.

----

To those of you reading this, thank you. It means so much to me.