Separated

Eight

Chapter8

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tori asked softly, staring at her hands in her lap. She said nothing when I walked out of the house and followed her to her jeep. She continued to be silent as we sat there, me crying and her trying not to stare at me.

Not long after Tori left her house to come see me, dad came upstairs, no trace of tears on his face, and told me he was going to bed. He told me to order pizza whenever I wanted it. That part didn't surprise me.

So I snuck out of the house quietly and went with Tori to her car. We sat outside of the house but it still felt miles away.

I sniffed and rubbed my nose on my sleeve. "I have to, don't I?"

"Not if you don't want to."

I shook my head. "Life isn't fair that way."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "Life doesn't have to happen the way it's intended."

"I don't know why I called you. You hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"It seemed like you did."

"I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Emma. That was totally my fault and I understand if you hate me."

"Wouldn't we just be following the same cycle?"

"I suppose so." She said, smiling.

"I don't hate you. I never did."

"Then why did you push me away?"

I opened my mouth to talk but quickly shut it. I didn't have a good answer for her. I also knew that anything I'd say would make things worse. I wasn't good at coming up with things on the spot. This time was proof of that.

"You don't have to hide from me." She said softly. "We've all been through stuff. Good and bad. And I've already seen you at your worse. Twice, now."

I shook my head and stared out my window. "I don't want you to think less of me."

"If I did would I be sitting here with you now?"

That shut me right up. She was right. She wouldn't be here with me if she thought I was weird or stupid. There was a reason she was here. I just didn't know why.

"I don't think any less of you because of your family. You can't help the family you were born into."

"You should. My life's a mess."

"Well so is mine."

"How?"

"My dad ran out on my mom and I. That's why we moved here. Mom grew up here and figured it'd be easier to be some place more familiar to her."

"Why'd he leave?"

"He got someone else pregnant."

My eyes widened. "Does your mom know?"

"No. I found out by accident but I didn't want her to know. She's already heartbroken enough."

"But doesn't it hurt you to see her still love him?"

"Not completely. Like I know what he did was terrible but he was a good father to me. And I'd rather have my mother just miss him and hate him for leaving than hate him for cheating."

"I wish I was as nice as you."

"You are. You just don't know it."

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" I asked, feeling pathetic even asking.

"Not a one."

"Care for some pizza?"

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Just know I warned you." I said, walking into my bedroom.

Tori rolled her eyes at me. "I told you I wouldn't judge you. I'm not going back on my word."

I sighed. "Is it completely obvious that I don't invite friends over much?"

"No."

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better."

She walked over to my mirror and adjusted the piercing above her eye. "Do you know any girls looking for a girlfriend?

My eyebrows rose. "Um... no."

She turned around and held my gaze. "You're not gay, are you?"

I felt my face heat up. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Just wondering. I haven't had a girlfriend since before we moved."

I sat down on my bed and pulled out my phone. "I'm not."

"Did you ever wonder? I mean, I'm sure everyone goes through that phase in their lifetime."

"I never did. I had a boyfriend but it was in like middle school. Nothing and no one more."

"Doesn't life get kind of depressing?"

I glanced at her. "My life is depressing in general. Besides, I can't date anyone if I don't have any friends."

"Who says you can't?"

"Well wouldn't I have to make friends with someone before we dated?"

She shrugged. "I suppose."

I ordered the pizza then laid back on my bed. "I'm sure both of my parents would kill me if I was gay."

"Why do you think that?"

"They're very opinionated people. I mean, they can't even stand each other."

"That doesn't mean you couldn't be gay. Or your sister."

I shook my head. "It wouldn't happen."

"Why do you seem so opposed to it? You don't think it could be a possibility."

"Are you trying to make me gay?"

She sat down beside me on the bed. "Not trying to make you anything that you aren't already."

"You're nuts. You know that?"

She laughed. "Fully aware."