Unsent Letters #JustWriteIt #LoveLetters

Chapter 3

Dear you,
How are you? I hope your doing amazing. It's been kinda rainy these last few days. If you go outside make sure to wear a sweater. Haha I don't want to be your mom but it's cold. I miss you, when will you come back? You know it sucks because I'm just writing these letters for you and I'm not going to get a chonce to give them to you. I think it's too soon for you to know my story so I don't know if I should tell you. I'll just tell you later. Remember that one time we hung out in the cemetery with those other two girls? Yea, I was in 8th grade and you were in 7th. But before we went to to the cemetery, we were behind the High school or on the side of it actually. It was where that one old barn house thingy is. Anyways obviously junior high kids think drinking and smoking is cool. You and the other two girls went to drink. When that one girl who WAS my friend gave you some vodka and you chugged it, I just watched. I only went because you were going. I liked you back then. I don't do drugs or drink. I remember you saying 'it burns' because the alcohol. After that we were heading to the cemetery and you saw a couple and said 'I'm not drunk' but little did you know that you were. You were only 12 for goodness sake and I loved you hella. I stole the measuring tape from a house near by that was being constructed. I don't know why. When we got to the cemetery, there were some Latin women there with a stroller. I remember that you were talking Spanish to them, you were mocking them. Then we walked up a small hill and rested there. I didn't know what was going to happen but then I saw the two other girls take a cigar out. I believe it was a cigar or a swisher. The other girl had one of those electric ones. I sat on the cement that was a tombstone and you sat on the ground on the right side of me. My used to be friend lighted up her cigar thingy and took a hit. Then I remember that she asked you 'do you wanna take a hit?' In my mind I was like "please don't, please it's not good for you, please I don't want you to, because I love you". You just stared at her and said 'no I don't do that anymore'. I knew that you were trying to say that you tried it before but stopped because you knew it was bad. But no! My used to be friend kept insisting you and then when I heard you say 'yolo' I got hella sad. Then I watched her hand you the cigar and the last thing that I saw was the smoke you exhaled before I looked away. I got even more sad, and even more when I heard you say that you liked it and you only live once so why not. I remember you taking more hits because you liked it and I thought 'he said only one'.
Then she offered me some and I said no. Knowing how she is, she insisted me but I didn't give in. Since you were right there next to us I remember that you said 'she's a good girl' talking about me. At that time I didn't really think about it much because I was in pain.
Finally, I couldn't handle it anymore because since I loved you I didn't want to see you doing those things. I walked up to my used to be friend and told her that I was going to go for a little walk around the cemetery. She thought I was going to ditch her because she knew I don't do those things. Then she let me go. I carefully walked down the little hill and ended up sitting down on a metal railing just on the side of the little path to the top of the hill where we were. The trees and bushes were hiding me so you couldn't see me from the top of the hill. I held on to the metal bar with both hands and gripped it. I started to cry. I remember that I just let all my pain out but I did it quietly. I even felt sad for myself. I stayed there for about 10 mins. When I thought that my eyelashes were dry and my eyes weren't red, I was about to go back up but then you guys were leaving already. You said 'I thought she left' when you saw me. Since you were drunk you almost tripped while you were walking down the hill. My used to be friend helped you and was like 'oh my gosh' she started laughing. Well that was a pretty depressing day for me. I got hurt because I don't want you to put that bad stuff into your perfect body. I didn't hang out anymore with you guys I just went straight home and cried in my room. Like two days later my used to be friend showed me a video of you because you were drunk and saying dumb things. You told the other girls that they were beautiful even though one of them kinda was. You kept repeating yourself saying that I was a good girl. My used to be friend said that drunk people say the truth. I heard that you laid down in the middle of the road. When you got home it was hella late and your sister called my used to befriend and told her 'why did you get my little brother drunk? If you do that again I'm going to kick your ass' you ended up puking. My used to be friend was scared because of your sister. I was sad that she did that to you, but that's not the reason she's not my friend anymore. Please take care, please.
All the love,
                               You know my name  X