Solar Eclipse - Book 5

Pondering Thoughts

Later that night the Cromwells -with the exception of Nic- left to return to their home nestled inside the Yukon Territory of Canada.

For the next five hours I sat quietly, pondering about the story my cousin Matthew told me. It didn't make sense. Why would he risk our family secret by doing unspeakable things with a human. Didn't his parents give him the talk?

When my mother talked to me about sex, fertility and the latter she explained to me about my conception and birth.

 Before my grandfather Carlisle never knew that a male vampire could impregnate a female human simply because no one had ever tested it. He thought that just like everything else in a human body, sperm died when turned into a vampire. But they don't really, they are replaced with fluids closely related to seminal fluids, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum.

And because it is vemon based the chance of impregnating an human rises from 30% on average to 90% -minus 10% for the women who are literally infertile and unable to concieve at all.

How could he had not been explained this by my aunt Rosalie or uncle Emmet. Surely they would jump at the first chance because of him being half-vampire.

Vampires in general are highly appealing towards humans. Everything about them invites humans in - their looks, their smell, their voice. Even a half vampire is just as appealing, if not even more because of being part human. The vampire part not only enhances the human imperfections but makes them perfectly imperfect, basically irresistable.

"Renesmee, love." Nic called as he brought me a cup of lavender tea.

He handed it to me and took a seat beside me as I took a sip and set it on the granite coaster that protected the ancient oak table that sat before me.

Nic pulled me hands into his lap and caressed them gently. "You've been sitting here for a long time. What is it that is troubling you?" his voice was beautiful, accented and of silk.

I lifted the porcelain tea cup to my lips and took another long sip to postpone having to respond. Unfortunately that sip came to an end once my tea cup had emptied, giving me no other alternative to boycott a response.

Sighing I replaced the cup to the toaster and looked at him. "I'm worrying about Matthew's sanity to what has happened recently, and Jamie's and Tyler's. They are going through a really rough time and I am worried about them." This wasn't entirely the truth but it was a large portion of it.

"Hmm, I thought there would be more to it than that." He mumbled to himself more than me. His eyes did flicker away for a brief second and then returned to me.

"What is it?" I asked, curiously.

He released my hand and sat back, only to rise quickly to his feet to stare out the window. "I have studied the eating habits of animals for several long decades as a hobby and one thing I learned was that animals aren't neat eaters. They leave a mess of bits and pieces wherever they eat and Matthew said there was no sign of her. She was simply gone."

"Maybe she got away?" I questioned.

Nic turned to look at me. "Or maybe Matthew realized she wasn't entirely dead and lost control of his urges."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Are you suggesting Matthews guilt is from him being the one who killed her?"

Nic shrugged his shoulders. "Well, he does seem to have an unnecesarry amount of guilt riding on him. He didn't love the girl and he didn't want the baby. I can understand being slightly guilty if her blood was on his hands but he didn't kill her. His running away, not talking to his parents about it, showing up abruptly and then leaving just as fast. None of it is normal for what he says happened."

The more I thought about it the more I realized that Nic was right about Matthew. Something was up, something he didn't tell us or me. But what was it?

I picked up my tea cup again and went to take a sip only to remember that I had finished it. Coming back to my side, Nic retrieved my cup and left the room only to return with it being replenished. He took a seat back beside me and placed the cup gently in my hands before assisting in moving the cup gently to my mouth.

Smiling with the cup to my lips I took a sip and then set the cup down. After I swallowed I moved my lips to meet his.

For ten seconds our lips moved with one another. The velvety soft texture of his lips against mine brought unexplored feelings back to me. It felt good.

For a second our lips parted and he took a deep breath. The deliciously sweet scent in my face sent shivers down my spine and butterflies flitting through my stomach. The feelings he gave me were pure amatory. I wanted him in ways unimaginable and strictly forbidden as we were not yet married.

Marriage....

The only way these ways would ever be explored was if we were to get married. That thought alone brought a million problematic thoughts to my mind. Thoughts that I didn't want to ponder on, at least now.

My day was already stressful enough. I wanted to forget about everything for just a little while, if that was even possible -which is wasn't. I was half vampire, I never forgot a thing. The only time I got a break was while I was sleeping, which I wasn't.

Lifting my cup to my lips I quickly drained it and then rose to my feet. "Goodnight Nic." I smiled before briskly moving towards my bedroom.

I didn't stop or look back until I was in the safety of my bedroom. Here, this was my place to be alone. To not have to worry about my and Nic's impending future together. I could just be carefree Renesmee. Almost as carefree as my life had been before I grew into my woman body.

Undressing from my day clothes I slipped into my heirloom vintage 30's inspired silk peignoir. It was one of the many gowns Alice had made for me to adultify my wardrobe. These changes to the clothes she designed for me were more than likely to do with visions she had of Nicoli and I.

For a while I wouldn't wear it only because I thought  it was too mature for my taste. One day out of curiousity I tried it on and fell in love with it. I adored it because of the colors.

The gown was a brilliant aqua pastel color, designed in the regal style. The nightgown is very all revealing with its open back and neckline; French braided shoulder straps and a French made needle run lace band across the bodice that accentuated the sweeping full skirt.

To match the gown was the lavish trained robe made from sheer aqua silk accompanied by finely woven silk ribbon stripes. Silk covered buttons ran down the front bodice, and more of that fancy French lace framed the trimming. It was made by my aunt Alice meaning one thing, everything was hand stitched and of the finest quality.

As Alice would say, Very Marie Antionette.

Climbing into my bed I stared out the window at the beautiful panorama set out below me. I watched as an bird took flight from the tallest tree laid out amongst the others. From below a deer was edging towards the river with its doe close behind it.

Closing my eyes I smiled and turned over onto my side.