The Lines I Wrote You [Calum Hood]

4

Dear Delaney,

As promised, I won't ask you any more questions but I still hope you're okay. If you ever have anything you want to get out of your mind, I will always be here, waiting.
I remember the time when you wanted to play basketball in your backyard so badly but it was pouring. I couldn't say no to you. We were both dripping wet after but it was worth it.
How comes that there are so many girls out there in the word yet I still only want you. I can't put in words how much I would gove just to have you here with me againg.
I still love you. I don't know how long I will last wothout you.

Calum

~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning I felt like shit again.

I'm not gonna lie, I cry every time I think of this day. It was like the day I was crushed into pieces again. The day that made everything we had seem gone.

I wonder if Delaney ever even felt the same way I did. Did I even mean anything to her?

***
"So explain" I stood there completely emotionless in the cold stairway.

"Calum, I felt empty, I needed to feel something... You didn't answer my phone call, I was just about to hurt myself when Peter called, Calum, I didn't know what I was doing" she teared up.

"So now your bringing you self-harming issues for an excuse? I thought you were above all of that shit" I spat. I waited for her to say something but she remained silent.

"Why aren't you defending yourself? Say something!" I yelled.

"Calum, I'm sorry... I really didn't think what I was doing..." she cried so quietly that I could barely hear it.

"Are we done?" she asked. I could tell she was cold by the way she shivered and by the goose bumps on her skin.

"You're cold, go inside. I need time to think" I said and continued my way down the stairs.

When finally out of the house I felt the cool spring air in my hair. I slowly added speed until I realized I was running.

I ran and I ran by houses and shops until I found myself surrounded by trees. I kept running evenhough my lung were burning and I couldn't feel my legs.

I didn't want to stop but otherwise I would've probably passed out. I sat on a mossy rock in the middle of the woods.

After panting for a while I started to feel eveeything. The burning throat, the way my legs were almost like catching fire and the way my heart was just torn into parts and thrown off a cliff.

Tears started running down my cheeks. I hadn't had cried for so long. I felt like every piece of happiness I had had was all an illusion.
***
"Calum! Open up dude!" Michael was pounding on my apartment door. I didn't want to let him see me like this. All messy and stuff so I let him yell for a little while until I gathered myself.

Finally ready, I opened the door.

"What the fuck, Cal?" he was obviously not happy about me letting him wait.

"Sorry, I just..."

"Had a breakdown again?" he didn't let me finish my sentence.

"No, I just..." I tried to come up with something but it was useless.

"When will you stop crying over her? She's gone, admit it!" his words stinged like a snakes bite.

"She'll come back, I know she will" my voice cracked.

"She won't. The sooner you'll admit it the sooner you'll get over her" he said and sat down on my couch.

"I know" I said eventhough I knew he was wrong.