Broken teddy bear, stuffed with silence
that now bleeds through your lost hopes
and fears.
You're afraid of losing and making mistakes
and making one by not acting on feelings.
But nothing can happen now, just panic, just
terror in New Years and tears – it disappears;
Breathing uncontrollably, respites that peruse
for meaningful words in meaningless dealings
And you try to shout for help when you
don't need it –
You're being bombed merciless –
fill it – with noise – artfulness
in your uneven rhythm and rhymes
you oh so desperately repeat a hundred times,
Believe in your self-deceived paradigms
and be quiet for once; twice you've done
this in a day;
you've gotta ask yourself why
is there no purpose in life that could take
you out of overused metaphors and white pages –
– Blanks –
– Your world in one word –
Each anxiety attack is trapped in cages –
She holds the key –
Imprison me.
In your arms
I feel safe
– though not really –
I just ideally and sincerely believe in
us, but not now. I'm on fire,
dire
never-ending inquire that'll
never transpire;
And I just sit here, head spinning and
spinning and thinning into
Lilac poison.
Nihilism has saved me from everything but pain
Yet believing in purpose would give me a reason
to stop all of this
– Instead, I write –
Until this attack is over,
Let's say good night
and sleep
our problems away
– Tomorrow's another day –
In which panic is my lover
instead of you.
YOU ARE READING
Necker Cubed Brain.
PoetryFinished! About: Three-dimensional feelings messing with my brain and with yours too. Take a bowl of alphabet soup and let's drown in there together. Enjoy