Necker Cubed Brain.

Hyperventilate

Broken teddy bear, stuffed with silence

that now bleeds through your lost hopes

and fears.

You're afraid of losing and making mistakes

and making one by not acting on feelings.

But nothing can happen now, just panic, just

terror in New Years and tears – it disappears;

Breathing uncontrollably, respites that peruse

for meaningful words in meaningless dealings

And you try to shout for help when you

don't need it –

You're being bombed merciless –

fill it – with noise – artfulness

in your uneven rhythm and rhymes

you oh so desperately repeat a hundred times,

Believe in your self-deceived paradigms

and be quiet for once; twice you've done

this in a day;

you've gotta ask yourself why

is there no purpose in life that could take

you out of overused metaphors and white pages –

– Blanks –

– Your world in one word –

Each anxiety attack is trapped in cages –

She holds the key –

Imprison me.

In your arms

I feel safe

– though not really –

I just ideally and sincerely believe in

us, but not now. I'm on fire,

dire

never-ending inquire that'll

never transpire;

And I just sit here, head spinning and

spinning and thinning into

Lilac poison.

Nihilism has saved me from everything but pain

Yet believing in purpose would give me a reason

to stop all of this

– Instead, I write –

Until this attack is over,

Let's say good night

and sleep

our problems away

– Tomorrow's another day –

In which panic is my lover

instead of you.