*In this version of events, Anne was not on the holiday with them*
Harry got on the plane, none of us knew if he did or not until Niall met him when waiting at the arrivals gate in Dublin airport to see if he did get on the flight.
Kendall was spotted in LA, Niall told me that but there was so sign of Harry, so we guessed he got on the plane.
The yacht holiday was over it seemed but we still had no idea what was going on really.
More photos were released but I tried my best to avoid them.
I no longer felt panicky the few days after the first photos. I just felt nothing really. Empty in a way.
I was trying my best to stay calm because it was no use to me being an absolute wreck.
Later that day, Niall rang me, he was on his way home from the airport, with Harry.
Holy shit.
That's all I could think really.
I hung up after saying alright and went and washed my face and hands and threw my hair up into a messy bun.
My brothers were out and my parents had gone out for the day to give us some privacy to sort things out.
About half an hour after Niall's phone call, while sitting reading a book, I heard a car crunch over the gravel in my driveway.
Shit.
Looking through the window, I saw
Niall hop out of the drivers seat and go round to open the boot of the car.
Then the passengers door opens.
Shit.
Harry steps out, in black jeans and a white shirt, half buttoned up and a pair of black converse. Different to his usual extravagant heeled boots.
He took one of his suitcases off Niall and Niall led the way to my front door.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I heard Niall unlock the door.
Niall opened the door to the sitting room and held it open.
And then there he was.
My Harry.
Who was now also her Harry.
I met his green eyes as I closed my book and set it down.
"I'll be in the kitchen" Niall stated and quietly shut the living room door, leaving Harry and I alone.
I stayed where I was, in the armchair and fixed my gaze on the pair of fluffy socks I had on.
I heard him make his way to the couch and let out a a deep breath.
Hesitantly, I met his eyes once again, and waited for him to speak.
"(Y/N)"
"Harry"
He wiped his hands on his jeans and clasped them together.
"(YN), I...I'm not going to deny what I've done, because I can't. I'm not going to try to defend myself because I don't deserve that, but I want to explain."
"Go ahead" I said, completely calm, which I think shocked him a bit.
"Before I met you, I knew Kendall, and I was involved with her but management didn't like it. They forbid the two of us and if I didn't conform, I'd be kicked out of the band."
He took a shaky breath and continued on.
"I remember thinking back then, it's only two more years, until the contract ends and then I can be with her, but then I met you. You were everything I wanted in a girl and still are. Your kindness, humour, compassion, beauty and overall loveliness attracted me to you. I couldn't believe that I thought anyone other then you was what I wanted. But when this contract ended, I was free. I could do what I liked and that scared me. It was so long since I was able to make all my choices myself. The freedom was overwhelming. I thought back on all the things I wasn't allowed have and Kendall came to mind. Finally, management couldn't stop me or tell me no. I wasn't thinking. Before I knew it, I had a single ticket booked to St.Barths, where I knew she was and I was on my where there. I wasn't thinking (y/n). I didn't tell anyone apart from you. My mum didn't know, Gemma didn't know, the boys didn't, hell Kendall didn't even know till I was boarding the plane. It was temptation (y/n) I wanted to see if management could still stop me or if I was really free and I ended up I was. And then I realised what I was doing, the same day Louis rang. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of being out of managements grasp I was in a daze the whole time I was there. Louis' call managed to snap me out of it and then the thought of you. I'm disgusted with myself (y/n), absolutely disgusted that I treated you like this. My love, and my bestfriend. Yes I was with her on that boat. I kissed her, more than once, I flirted with her, I slept in the same bed as her but I swear to you (y/n) I swear on my life, which isn't much without you, that I did not have sex with her. I do not love her. I do not care for her like I care for you (y/n). You are my world and I know I'm rambling but I can't express how much you mean to me. I know that sounds completely stupid, after I've been seen with another girl but it meant nothing. I wasn't thinking (y/n) I just wasn't fucking thinking. Well, thinking about others, I was thinking about myself. I know I'll loose you now, and believe me I will kick myself over my stupidity for letting you go and not giving you my love but (y/n) I don't think I can express how much you mean to me and how empty my life would be without you and I'm sorry. I know that's pointless to say but I'm sorry, not only for cheating on you, which I practically did but lying to you and causing you worry and panic, and disrespecting you and not caring for you. I'm sorry (y/n), I'm so so sorry for doing all of this to you and I'm so sorry for the poor excuse of a boyfriend I was to you the last 2 years. You deserve better, someone who won't hurt you, and will put you first and will love you until the day they die, I know I will love you until then too but I don't deserve your love."
At this point Harry had tears streaming down his face and I was crying silently.
"Harry," I croaked out, "I know you're telling the truth but I was so hurt, I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and torn into a million pieces over and over again. I don't think you've lost me, I'm not sure just yet. Do you think I could handle you leaving my life? Yes Harry you hurt me but I'm not able to just cut you out of my life. You know I'm not like that. I don't know how I feel right now, but I do know that I don't want you to hate yourself, because I know how that feels. Hating who you are every single day, and I think that was one of the worst things about this, was that it was with her, of all people. She's gorgeous and I'm not one of those people who are obsessed with other people's looks but it's heart-wrenching to see my boyfriend with this beautiful person and then look at myself in the mirror and realise I'm back to square 1. Hating myself and who I am. That was the worst part Harry, you broke me down back to the crumbling girl on the inside that I was when I met you. Back to the (y/n) that I tried so hard to overcome. We just both need some time. I'm not saying apart. I'm saying just right here, we need to just take some time. You should maybe sleep, and I need to calm down and call my mam and tell her you're here and then call my brothers and tell them not to come round because the last thing we need is a trip to the emergency room because my brothers attacked you okay? Just some time" I finished, tears still leaking from my eyes.
Harry nodded and pushed his hair back from his face.
"You know how much I fucking care about you and love you (y/n) don't you?"
And deep down, I knew, even after everything that happened, that he loved me. And I love him, I always will, but people can't just patch somethings up so easily, it takes time but I'm willing to put in that time. So I said,
"I know Harry, I do, of course I do but like I said, we just need some time fixing things together. Okay?"
"Okay, we can do this (y/n) can't we?"
"I think we can Harry" and after that he stood up and walked over to where I was and held out his hand.
I took it and he knelt down beside the chair and rested his head on my knees where my fingers automatically went to comb through his hair.
"We'll figure this out" I heard him whisper to himself as we stayed close for fear of letting go.
AUTHORS NOTE
I don't think this is the end guys but I'm happy with this chapter! Hope you guys are too, made me cry a little 🙈 xxx
