My heart broke into a million tiny pieces as soon as I was tweeted the pictures by a fan.
I was relaxing in my parents living room back home in Ireland with my family after celebrating my last Christmas with them as Harry and I decided we would have Christmas together from then on.
I'll admit Harry's decision to travel to St.Barths was quite sudden and out of the blue. I had no idea about it until he rang a few days after Christmas Day to tell me he was traveling there.
Oh and he didn't invite me either in case you're wondering.
I let it pass obviously because of course he deserves a holiday after working his ass off the past 5 years.
So I didn't think anything of it until earlier today when I was tweeted pictures of Harry, on a yacht, with Kendall Jenner, on top of him, kissing.
I was shocked and devastated, so deeply devastated I couldn't move.
I let out a little squeak of some sort and my brothers looked over at me staring at my phone in horror, frozen to the spot.
My eldest brother looked over to my phone and in a split second the phone was thrown to my other brother who ran for my parents while I was engulfed in a hug by my brother.
"(Y/N), you're okay, breathe, in through your nose and out through your mouth, come on, breathe"
I have a history of very bad panic attacks and he could sense one coming on.
I tried to catch my breathe but I felt like all the air was knocked out of me.
My mum was shaking with anger while scrolling through the pictures.
My other brother was pacing the living room muttering about how he would kill Harry.
And my poor dad looked so upset and hurt and that someone would hurt his little girl.
I couldn't comprehend what was going on, I thought it was some sick joke.
"This couldn't be happening"I thought. We bought a house together, we were living together for over a year and we were in a relationship for nearly 3 years. Why was this happening?
Where did all of this come from? Was it sudden? Or was it going on for ages and I was just so oblivious to everything going on?
So many questions were running through my head when my phone started to ring.
My brother answered it and spoke quietly for a few minutes before approaching me, who was in a state of shock.
"(Y/N)? It's Niall, he wants to talk to you and see if it's alright if he comes over from Mulligar."
I reached a shaky hand out to grasp the phone and I slowly headed down to a different room to speak to Niall in private.
My family understood and let me go.
"Hello?" I asked in a quite voice that was shaking.
"(Y/N), Jesus, I just saw the photos, I'm not sure when they were taken or anything but I'm driving over okay? I don't go back to London till the 6th so I'm visiting you. Louis and Liam were both just on to me seeing what the hell was going on because I swear to you, (y/n) none of us knew, we didn't even know he was going to st.barths let alone going with out you! How are you? Sorry, stupid question, I can probably guess how you are but just, God (y/n) I'm so so sorry, this isn't fair to you at all. I don't know what Harry is playing at because the Harry we know wouldn't do this"
"I, I don't know Niall. I'm just, blank. I feel empty. I know I'm sad, angry, devastated, but I don't feel it, you know? I'm just in shock right now. I don't even know if I should contact him? Or wait for him to ring me? Or will he even? Oh god Niall, what are they doing right now, oh my god. Why? Why is this happening? Why is he doing this to me. To us! We were happy! We were together! We were in love! Oh god Niall, what happened?" I sobbed down the phone to one of my closest friends.
"That's it, I'm in the car okay? I'd say I'd be there in about an hour, less if I drive fast okay? I'll try and answer your questions (y/n) when I get there but right now I'm thinking the exact same things you are. I'm so sorry this is happening to you (y/n) you of all people do not deserve it"
"Thanks Niall, hurry okay?"
"Of course love, see you soon"
"Bye" and with that I hung up, trying to stop tears spilling from my eyes.
"Harry, my Harry, he wouldn't do this? Would he? It can't be real, those photos must be fake."
That was all that was running through my mind and the little voice at the back of my head wasn't helping, but that's because I didn't want to hear the truth.
"They're real (y/n), there's no denying it. You have to accept that they're real and see what happens next"
I must have sat there in silence with my thoughts for ages because the arrival of Niall took me out of my little world.
"(Y/N)?" Niall said quietly after knocking on the door.
"Come in" I whispered.
I had my head in my hands trying to stop the flow of tears when I felt the bed dip and Niall's arms being put around me, hugging me close.
Niall and I are extremely close, the best of friends and nothing more. We are like brother and sister, and he's always there for me.
"Oh god Niall, I feel sick"
"I'm not surprised (y/n)"
"What do we do? Do I go over there? Do I call him? Do I leave it till he comes home? Do I wait for him to realise the photos are out and the call me-" I stopped short when a horrible thought came to mind.
"Oh Niall, what if he knows the photos are out and he doesn't care? What if he's not doing to ring? Oh Jesus Christ" I cried out, bursting into tears.
"Shh (y/n) shh, we will figure it out. I'll call him in a bit when we've all settled down and we'll take it from there okay? Let's go back to the sitting room, (y/b/n) and (y/ob/n) are seething"
Niall helped me up and guided me back to the living room when I collapsed down into an armchair.
"We'll take it one hour at a time" Niall announced to my family.
I couldn't wait. (Sarcasm btw)
AUTHORS NOTE
hi everyone! This has been inspired by the devastating situation that is currently occurring between Harry and Kendall. I am quite saddened by it but I'm trying my best. This is helping.
I am going to make this into parts. I'm not sure how many yet.
*y/b/n= your brothers name
*y/ob/n= your other brothers name
