Kayde O. Matthews
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Slice, slice, slice.
The cold knife plunged into my naked wrist, blood showering my sun-kissed skin. I barely flinched. This has unfortunately become such a normal habit of mine. With every cut, my thoughts wandered deeper into my mind. It was like losing myself in a jungle of thoughts. Jumbled up messed up thoughts were like the emerald green vines, swinging from branches. Jumbled up messed up thoughts were like the human-eating animals. And I was the human. Like my own thoughts were eating me alive. Or I got lost in my jungle of thoughts. So many thoughts were stuffed inside my mind that I sometimes drowned in them. It's a familiar feeling for you I'm sure, We're all humans with our own little messed up minds. No matter how perfect and built up we are on the outside, we are all as fucked up on the inside. Drowning or lost in our own thoughts. Choking or getting eaten alive by them. Either way, our thoughts are like enemies at times. What would happen if I left? Nobody would miss me. Who would miss a gay freak show like me? Maybe that's why my name is so girly. Like my parents thought I was destined for gayness or whatever. My thoughts went as deep as the knife, and before I knew it, blood gushed violently from my wrist. I stared at it. Bleep bleep My laptop buzzed. I slowly, slipped the blade out of my skin and cautiously turned my head.
1 Msg ; Priscilla Evans
I miserably groaned but simply couldn't help myself. Shaking the mouse, the monitor woke up and opened up to a message board website. A message popped up. "Hey! Kayde! I was wondering if I could borrow a pink, sparkly bra. I know you have one somewhere in your room. I'm surprised you haven't used it at school yet... WHAT A FAG LOL." My face reddened as my Dell erupted with messages.
1 Msg ; Brian Harpers
So true Cilla! Hey, go on private, I wanna ask you something.
1 Msg ; Joanne Porcelain
Omg!! Lololololol
1 Msg ; Caylie Jones
Hahahah!
My heart was a ship and these messages were my anchors. They sunk my heart with every wicked IM. I flung myself onto my bed, burying my head into a pillow and let out a bloodcurdling scream. My screams turned into mumbles. Mumbling how I hated my life and how I craved for nothing more but someone else's life. And with that, I fell asleep to the silent steady hum of my laptop, spitting up message notifications. My eyes were already heavily drooped before I could read the the last message someone sent that day. Bleep bleep
1 Msg ; Danny Morgans
STOP IT OMF JUST NO. STOP IT. NOW. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY, EVEN THOUGH KAYDE MAY OR MAY NOT BE. KAYDE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. NOBODY DOES. SO JUST SHUT IT OKAY?! KAYDE I THINK I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AND I JUST CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE.
Bleeep. Another notification buzzed my laptop.
Danny Morgans has removed this message from the Message Board, so it is currently unavailable to the public.
He deleted the message before I could see it.
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping noisily at my window. "Perks of having a forest in my backyard" I mumbled to myself groggily. The heels of my hand dug into my eyes, rubbing out the crusty eye boogers that formed on my eyelids overnight. I ran my fingers through my oily, greasy hair, a sign that I haven't showered in a while. I swung my legs to the side of the bed and sauntered towards the bathroom. I turned the faucet on and stood there, lazily staring at the showerhead sputter out water, and thought of the day that stood ahead of me. Ripe and fresh with possibilities. I wonder who I'll get beat up by today.. I quietly thought to myself.
Danny F. Morgans
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"Damn Danny." breathed my best friend, Priscilla. She watched me pile globs of mashed potatoes onto my tray.
I shrugged in response as if to say "What? I'm hungry." Which was true. I haven't eaten anything but a frozen waffle for breakfast. Damn I hate waffles.
Priscilla giggled as she grabbed a salad from the lunch lady. Everybody hates her for some reason. I don't really know why. I mean, sure, she can be a little mean sometimes but it's not the kind of mean where she makes somebody kill themselves. It's the playful kind of mean. Right? "So, Danny," she said, waking me up from my thoughts. "Can we, maybe, reschedule our plans for today? I can't go to the mall after school..I...erm..have this dinner thing. Family dinner thing. Can't miss it." Her eyes nervously darted around the room, avoiding eye contact.
I knew something was up, but I let it slide. "Mkay." After a loud, giggly, lunch with Cilla, we said our goodbyes and headed off to class. As I backed out of the lunchroom, I ran into something. Hard. e last thing I saw was the familiar face of someone in my next class, chemistry. When I woke up, my vision was fuzzy, making everything look like big, fluffy pillows. "Mmm.." I mumbled. My throat was scratchy and I didn't really have the ability to say anything. The acidy smell of medicine and plastic doctor gloves filled the air. My vision started to focus, and I saw a picture of the human brain. I then realized I was in Nurse Susan's office.
"Oh! Danny, sweetie. You're awake!" She squawked. "You ran into someone in the hallway. Blacked out for about an hour," My eyes widened. "Someone wants to see you." She added. I nodded slowly. Priscilla? My chemistry teacher? Dad? Well, it couldn't be Priscilla. She's in the middle of this big make-up test. It can't be my chemistry teacher. Nurse Susan already told him why I wasn't there. And it couldn't be my dad because he's in the middle of a big meeting. So I was very surprised when Kayde Matthews walked in the room. "Hey man. Sorry about the whole..me running into you thing. Total accident." He sincerely apologized. He had baby blue eyes with hints of green poking around. His dark, brown hair occasionally fell into his eyes and had a small nose. He was...gorgreous. I couldn't believe myself. I'm straight. I've always been straight. "It's the hormones Danny..It's the hormones." I accidentally thought out loud. He cocked his head to the side. "I-I-I meant. Nevermind. Apology accepted." I stammered. I was at a loss for words so I nodded and plastered a smile on my face.
He stuck out his hand. "Kayde."
I shook it. "Danny."
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A/N: It's not the best but don't worry. The boring part is outta the way now. Hopefully. Anyways, thanks for reading! Please share and comment I NEED FEEDBACK PLEASE!
Next update will be Friday morning, July 7th
Love you! xx
