Nathaniel Matthew Reid . This is a story about Nathaniel . The man who changed my life . The man who let me change his . The only man I ever loved . The man of my dreams .
Thea Marina Holiti . That is me . About me , I am in my late twenties . I would tell you how I look but all in all I don't think that matters . I don't think any of it matters . I work as a therapist . Yes , I get paid for lending out an ear to listen to all the brokenness in the world . The messed up , the dilapidated , the confused , the surrendered . I listen to them all . It pains me . My jobs restricts me from showing it but nobody knows how deeply the pain of each person I encounter in my daily job affects me . It plunges a blade through my heart , twists it around several times with each "Why can't I just be normal?" and pulls it back out . The only solace I get in doing this job is that through measures , direct or indirect , I can help fix them to an extent .
Sometimes people don't always need a shoulder to cry on . Sometimes all they need is someone to listen . Not someone who will pity them like they're a sad story . Just someone to tell them that with all the sad climaxes in life , one can still have a happy ending . When I get to be that 'someone' for someone who needs me , the contentment and joy I get out of it is fleeting .
People see me as a nuisance . They see all shrinks as a nuisance . If you're paying us a visit , you're a nutjob . If people had the decency to not talk and just listen to the other one's pain without labelling and judging them . I don't think therapists would be necessary . But they just can't . People never care enough about what you're going through . All people care about is what it made you . Pains me . It truly does .
Being a therapist , you're supposed to be sane , know the solution to everything and be frustratingly perfect . I don't get the stereotypes . I never did . As far as I can tell you , these stereotypes are horseshit . I am knee deep in insanity . I am as broken and confused as my clients but does anybody care ? They never care .
You come to your therapist for help . Who does your therapist go to ? Wonder ? No ? I think you should .
I have been on cloud 9 . I have hit rock bottom . In the face of all this chaos , I met Nathaniel . Confused , anxious , neurotic . Nathaneil struck to me as different . While people came to me with depression , dependent personality , bipolarity , histrionicity and phobias of clowns and spiders . Complaining how their sexual life is a fail. How they haven't been screwed for so long . Nathaniel was different . Nathaniel feared the very thing that is the first step to anything major . Carrying your newborn in your arms , holding your beloved's hand till your palms get sweaty , finalizing a deal with a handshake . Nathaniel feared all of this . NATHANIEL BEING DEVOID OF INTIMACY ON ANY LEVEL , HAD AN INTENSE FEAR OF BEING TOUCHED .
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Just got this idea to write a story . Not that I'm going to turn all Sydney Sheldon and stuff .
These ideas are my own and if it clashes with others then due apologies . Didn't mean for it to . I bet I am not the only person who finds psychology interesting .
I discussed this idea with a friend and she thinks Nathaniel is a Christian Grey . NOPE . I'm not even going to go there . Also I haven't read 50 shades of Grey . I watched the movie . Pretty disgusting .
You can message me if you want to . I get a ton of no messages every day so it would be awesome if you wanted to talk and tell me if you like the book or not .
As much as I love writing , I am not good at it so bear with me if you don't like the style of prose . Best I could do .
I have attachment issues . I still haven't reached the part where I love the book so much I'm going to spend my life writing it . So I might just abandon it midway like I always do . So its okay if you don't want to continue reading it .
Vote . Comment . Share . If you want to . No pressure .
Aufweidersein .
