Craving Charlotte

Chapter 6

           

My head spins as I breathe in the cold crisp air. Tension builds up inside of me as something inside holds me back from leaving. I look back over my shoulder and then cast my eyes back to the open land of trees. Freedom sits at my fingertips, right at touching distance. I could run until I find some help, I could leave and never look back. Tell the police what has happened but it feels as though there is a brick wall right in front of me, stopping me from moving forward.

I shake my head. I need answers, someone doesn't just kidnap you and put you through this much hell only to have a change in heart and let you go free.  
I can't believe I am doing this...

I turn around swiftly, stepping back into the cabin of hell, I find Ethan still sitting in the arm chair. He doesn't look up. His clothes are neat but casual he looks as if he's in his 20's only now I really study him. He's slumped forward hugging himself. Little light comes through the heavily curtained window, it makes the room feel depressive and gloomy. Layers of dust carpets the room like snow on a winter morning yet the room isn't cold, it's warm but not cosy.

"Um.. I... I," I stutter unsure what to say, he doesn't look up or move. A silence falls upon the room until I build up the courage within to continue.

"Ethan," I breathe his name feeling that flutter in my belly as his name lingers on my lips. A strange sensation runs through me, crawling over my skin as it begins to run cold.

"Charlotte," he half glances at me, the way he says my name jogs a memory.

*********

I see him smiling, laughing with me and my friends.  I know him... his emerald green eyes, they shine in the light putting an imprint on my brain. His eyes wonder over me with love but the feeling isn't returned. I know that he adores me.

Then I see us in a field full of daisies, the sun shines down on us warming our skin.  He chases me and I run away laughing. I know he loves me but he's just a friend, I adore him though. The way he takes me round the waist and holds me close, his breathe lingering over my neck. He's my home and comfort. How did I forget these memories?

Then another memory passes through my mind.  I'm dancing, Ethan is with me but he is different. He isn't smiling and he's fixated on me with his eyes wide as black as coal.  I ask him where he's been but he doesn't answer me, instead he just grinds his body against me. The heat from our bodies on the cramped dance floor begins to make me sweat, he becomes increasingly rough and glides his hands uncomfortably over my body.

"Stop Ethan, what's wrong with you?" I try to push him away but he comes back with more force, he wraps his arms around me and grinds up to me even more than before. Suddenly his lips are on my neck and I become angry, it's too much.  He runs his fingers through my hair closing the gap between us.  His smell is intoxicating but not enough to lure me in. I push him away and storm out.  He follows me out of the night club.

"Charlotte," his voice is soft as he presses his body against me. I find my back pressing against the cold brick wall.  He tries to kiss me and I push him away but it doesn't work he pushes into me further making it difficult to make any distance between us. 
"Come on, stop teasing me," he slurs over his words. He's drunk.

Instinctively I slap him hard across his face.
"Go home Ethan, your drunk!" I shout in his face. He has been drunk before but never has he been this bad.
"You want me Charlotte, I know you do. I know that now, I can't stop fighting for you," he wobbles on his feet as he pushes me back against the wall, he runs his fingers through my hair tentatively.

My eyes flick over to the door as it bounces open and a girl trips out the door before throwing up the alcohol that she had just guzzled down in the club. After heaving a few times, she wipes her mouth on her arm which makes me grimace. She lifts her head to me and winks in Ethan's direction; I roll my eyes at her flirty gesture.
You can have him! I think inwardly.

When she has disappeared, I turn my attention back to Ethan who leans over me.
"You're my friend Ethan and I care about you. Please just go home, I'll call you a taxi," I speak softly to my drunken friend and begin to take my phone out of my bag.

"No!" He bellows spitting on my face.
Suddenly his eyes ignite with a deep pit of fire. I can feel my heart race as I cower before him. Then everything goes black.

******

My vison clears and I'm back in the room with Ethan.

"I remember you, y... you were my f... friend," I stutter as I try to come to terms with everything.  My head spins making me unsteady on my feet. Ethan looks up at me ashamed and lost, pure love floods from him.  I can see he is sorry, his face shows the true him. His longing loving eyes looking back at mine, making my heart flutter just as it always did.

"I never wanted to hurt you, I found myself in a bad place. Charlotte I've changed, I can't control myself when I turn. The transition will be over soon. Then I will be that monster not only when darkness falls but during the day too. Just leave... "

Rejection hits me hard. I don't know where I am. He was my friend, he kidnapped me and raped me.  He hit me! But there's something inside that makes me love him too whether it is how sorry he is or the way I felt about him before, I will always love him. We stare at each other tears staining both of our faces, words seem pointless.

Charlotte, you should walk away... The little voice inside my head whispers to me.

I turn without reply, I have all the answers I need, I can't stand and dwell, I can't change what he has done. Picking up my pace I focus on the forest ahead without another glance back. I just want to go home, I want my bed, I want my family. I run as fast as I can, leaving the house and the horror within. Stumbling over the fallen branches and undergrowth that lay like a carpet beneath my feet flashes of what happened pass through my mind. Everywhere looks the same, the trees, the ground, I haven't any clue where I am running to.

I push on, jumping and placing my hands on the trees, I search for an opening.  My heart beats hard in my chest as I pant, breathless and exhausted. I hear the fluttering of wings from birds about as I disturb the natural silence with my ecstatic bid for freedom. The sudden realisation hits me that everything is starting to look the same, I slow my pace until I stop. Trees to my left and right, trees in front and behind, everything a mixture of greens and browns. I catch my breath then start to run once more.

"Hello!" I shout out. My stomach cramps from hunger, I need food.
I continue to run for what feels like hours, my body grows weak but I will myself to keep running. All the morning runs that I used to do before all this happened really paid off but it doesn't stop the burn that claws at my legs and waist.

"Hello! Can anybody hear me!" I continue to shout as my pace slows. Tears prick my eyes, time seems endless. The sun hit its highest point hours ago, which tells me it must be late afternoon by now and I still see the same old trees and bushes. What if I have been running around in circles? I am lost?

I breathe in feeling my heart thud fast and sheer panic rise in my throat. It becomes hard to breathe as I slow to a halt. I spin round looking in all directions. Everything is the same. Panic sets in as I continue to stare around me.
"Help!" I scream to the top of my voice, "HELP!"

"Somebody?" I continue in a small voice as tears stream my face. I hold my face in my hands feeling sick from the hunger, even if I could find some food things would become a little easier.

Istand stranded in the middle of nowhere panting hard. Thehouse is gone, my life is ruined, I killed a man. I fall to the ground andsob. I sob until there are no more tears. Exhaustion finally hits meand I find myself curling up in the forest's undergrowth. My eyes close, I will myself to die as Idrift into a restless sleep. Maybe when I wake, this will all be a bad dream?Or maybe I won't wake at all and I will be taken away from all this pain?