All my friends/ H.S. AU

02.

Harry's POV

As I sat here staring at the girl I thought I could learn to love, I realised that I couldn't possibly, she doesn't know that I've been seeing someone else behind her back, and in a way I didn't feel bad about it. I just couldn't let her go, I had to have her whether I was with someone or not.

I know she was heart broken when she heard that I had met someone, I know because she didn't exactly stay quiet about it, and seeing her like that only made me realise how special she was to me. So when she finally ended things three months ago, I was just all over the place, Niamh could see the change in me, but I couldn't exactly tell my girlfriend that the reason I was upset was because I had to end things with the girl I was seeing behind her back. I don't know why I was scared to be with her, but I just was. And I knew I was being selfish, I was only with someone else because I couldn't be with her, I thought maybe this way I'd forget about her.

But I couldn't stop missing her and I know I shouldn't have text but in the moment it felt so right and scarily natural, like it was meant to be that way. I mean Niamh was a nice girl but I don't think anyone ever could compete with Lily.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Niamh spoke up,
" Earth to Harry, you alright you seem so... distant"

"M'fine" I mumbled to her in hopes that she wouldn't ask anymore questions and just let me get lost in my thoughts of a strangely odd but beautiful brunette, who even after three months of being apart, still had me wrapped around her finger and consumed just about every thought I had.

I looked down at the girl who was lying in my lap as we cuddled on the sofa, and I knew I was going to have to end this eventually because it was unfair to string her along but I was scared that I didn't know what I was doing and that i'd make the wrong decision but I knew that deep down, the whole three months we've been apart I knew the entire time what I wanted, I just didn't know how to get it back.