All my friends/ H.S. AU

04.

"Oh. Then why did you text me?"

Harry just stood there silently, he didn't know what to say he knew he had done wrong, his eyes couldn't even meet mine, just kept a steady focus on the floor.
" Lil, what I said wasn't a lie, I miss you, I miss you so much, and I do wanna talk, I want to sort this out bu-"

I cut him off midsentence,
" But now isn't the right time, right? Why the fuck would you text me tonight if you were with her, I mean clearly I'm all you think about when your with her, and that means something, so what I don't understand is how you still don't know what you want, well how about this, don't fucking contact me until you do. I'm gonna make this easy for you, I'm not creeping around with you, simple as that, I don't wanna be that girl anymore. I turn to walk away, but I stop and look at Harry adding " Oh and if you ever need to talk again, I won't care if she's here, I'll tell her to" My anger was beginning to seep through I was mad at him and so frustrated and angry at myself, I should've listened to my gut and gone home.

He didn't say anything after that and I took that as my cue to leave,
" I have to go"
I turned and began to descend down the path when I heard a weak voice call my name.

" Lily wait"
I turned around to face him, he still stood in between his door frame.
" I'm sorry, so sorry, I don't want you to leave mad at me, I swear it was never my intention to hurt you, I was being selfish, I'm still being selfish, I don't how to stop"

" You know how. So is that it? Can I go now because I'm tired?"

" No. I don't want that to be it"

" But you can't give her up can you?"

" I'm scared"

" And I'm not? Fuck you Harry"

" Shit, Lil please wait"

" I've been doing that for a very long time Harry, waiting I mean, maybe it's about time I stop."
And with that I turned and continued walking down the path and into the night.

When I returned back to my flat I plopped myself down on the couch, I had no idea what to do with myself, on one side I wanted to ball my eyes out an on the other I knew he wasn't worth it, but in my eyes he always would be. My roommate/bestfriend hadn't returned home yet, and I could only imagine the bender my group of friends were on right now, I loved them all to pieces but I don't how they did it, going out every night and getting stoned, I didn't have it in me. I only started when Harry and I ended things it just felt right, but I was suddenly realising that it wasn't going to fix my problems.

I must have sat there on my sofa for hours staring a blank TV screen before sleep finally reached me. I was woken by the door flying open and the crash of my roommate falling to the floor, I looked at the clock that hung on the wall the time reading 6:15 am.

I mumbled " You couldn't have let me sleep in peace"
Romee just giggled still lying face first on the floor, I stood up from my comfy position on the sofa and sauntered over to my bestfriend hauling her up from the floor, and taking her to her bed, I tucked her in and got her a bottle of water and some aspirin, because she was definitely going to be hungover.

I dragged myself to my room and threw myself on my bed, the duvet enveloping me, making me feel warm, all I could think about was Harry, he was all I could ever think about, but I knew I had to be finished this time, I couldn't keep hurting that girl and I couldn't keep hurting myself.