My Neverland

~7~

I was still lying there in his lap, eyes closed, my mind racing. Why did he kiss me? Why does he want to help? Why does he care?

Why did he kiss me?

I felt him nudge my shoulder. "Wendy, you've got to get up. Your mom will be looking for you."

I fake yawned and stretched. "Sorry." I avoided his gaze.

He moved his head around, trying to meet my eyes. "Is something wrong?"

YES! YOU KISSED ME! WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP! my mind screamed. Not that I didn't like it... another voice said. I shook my head. "It's nothing." I stood up. "Night."

"Good night, Wendy." His voice almost made me melt. Almost.

I turned and ran towards where I had left my family. Thankfully, I saw them right away. "Have fun with your friend, Sweetie?" my mom asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said absentmindedly. I was still trying to answer all the questions in my head.

Why did he kiss me?

That was the question that popped up the most. And also the most confusing.

All through the ride back to the hotel, those questions haunted me. But soon, they weren't the only things that were.

"Why are you still alive?"

"No one could ever like you."

"Just die."

"As if anyone would ever want to help you."

Not true! I tried to combat the memories. Louis likes me! He wants to help! Even still, as I walked into my room, I felt my hand inching towards the razor like it had a mind of its own. Stop! I tried to command myself as I held the blade over my skin. Louis said... The protesting voice in my head slowly died out as I dragged the sharp steel across my inner forearm.

I knew the drill. I washed off the cut, applied the gauze, and cleaned the razor before making the bathroom look exactly as it had before.

As I went to bed that night, everything seemed normal.

So why did I feel so guilty?