Single Daddy

Chapter 9

I sat down in the corner of the room with my knees to my chest rocking back and forth softly. As I thought about it more, I started to feel like I was really crazy. I'm making things up. I'm moody. I don't remember things.
I'm scared...

Suddenly the door opened and a man in his at least early 30's walked in. He was in a suit without the jacket. "Riker?" He asked. I nodded. He walked to me slowly with a warm smile. He knelt to my level. "I'm Doctor Anderson." He said nicely. "Are you here willingly?" He asked. I looked down. "Y-Yes and No..." I said quietly. "Okay. Why don't you come sit on the couch?" He said. I just sat where I was. I didn't really wanna move because I felt that if I did I'd shut like a clam. "Or you can stay here. That's okay." He grinned. "So let me tell you a bit of what we do here. I'm here for you to talk to. You can talk about anything and even everything if you'd like. I'm not going to push you to talk about anything that you don't wanna talk about. Here soon, if you still wish to see me I'll be able to know when you aren't comfortable. And if I can't, tell me." He said very calmly. The more he talked the safer I felt. I could tell he would be able to help me. "I'm not here to stuff you full of pills or categorize you. If you'll let me, I'll help you so you can be there for that beautiful daughter your parents talked so highly of." He said. I stopped rocking and looked up at him. "I also want you to know that, you're not alone in the young adult parenting. I actually became a dad at 17." He said. This man gets it. If he can relate this much already, he's bound to be able to help me. "Will she hate me?" I asked. He snickered, "Riker I know she could never hate you and I haven't even met her." He said. I looked down feeling my heart break at the thought. "I've been a recreational therapist for 5 and a half years now. I've delt with many young parents such as yourself and not one of their kids looked at them the way that little girl looks at you, Riker." He said. "I know this because my daughter is obsessed with you to say the least." He laughed a little. I broke and grinned. "Is she really?" I said. "Oh yeah, luckly she rants more to her mom than she does too me." He laughed. "I'd love to meet her. Well...maybe not anytime soon but...maybe when I'm more stable..." I said. "She'd lose her mind, but you don't have to." He said. "But enough about that. I'd like to get know you from you directly." He grinned. "Well...personally...I'm not as much of an open book." I said only looking at him with my eyes, he nodded for me to continue. "My biggest fear has always been hardly anything. Until Summer was born..." I said. "When Kayla told me she was pregnant I thought she was pranking me because I actually lost my virginity to her." I said. My words started to speed up. The more I talked the more I felt this two thousand pound weight come off my shoulders.
"She told me a month and a half later...I was there the entire pregnancy. I didn't tell my parents until I made her go to the doctor. When I told them I thought they'd kick me out so when I came home and had the sonogram photos in my pocket, I went upstairs and packed a bag. I set it by the door and ugh fuck as I think about this I feell ike that terrified 18 year old again..." I paused for a second. "I set it by the door and the both asked where I was going. Then I just blurted it out and started crying. They came and hugged me, my mom calmed me down and she had me elaborate on everything. Of course they where shocked, as they should've been. But they didn't tell me to leave. They wanted me to stay and they even offered to let Kayla move in. Kayla didn't want to and she started to become this bitch who wanted no part of the beautiful life we created..." I spoke in a daze. "Then...on December 10th 2009 the day had came. She refused to hold Summer. So I held her as she took her first breaths of the new world. I did skin to skin with her. I made the bottles, I changed the diapers. Of course I was taught by my parents but they made me do it and I learned willingly. After Summer turned 5 she stared poking and horning in on her. She tried to pick her up from school, she found out where we lived and banged on the door for the longest time. She eventually broke into my parents house and actually tried to...she tried t-to rape me in front of Summer...that's why I'm so scared she'll hate me..." I rambled. He nodded, "May I ask how well your daughter does in school?" He asked. "She's got an IQ that's Instine like." I said. "There you go." He said. I looked at him funny. "Your daughter is smartert than smart. I can tell by seeing the few videos my daughter has shown me of her that she is a busy body. She's good a behavioral observatory." He said. "She is an empath. And an empath is a vessel that has hypersensitivity to emotions. She can feel and sense when someone is sad or happy or nervous or lying." He explained. "Pardon my bluntness but, if she where to hate you, she would already be showing signs." He said. "Riker, as a father myself I know we dads are born the day our kids are. The day they enter the world, we are embedded with an eternal bond with our child. Mothers have it on a higher scale, of course, due to carrying it for 9 months. But as a father you are given a tool to know when she's lying or when she's not okay and so on." He explained. "I know this because with every child comes a new compass. I have three." He said. I looked at him with just my eyes. "Tantrums and hatred are two completely different concepts." He said. "I don't think she hates you." He reassured.

We chatted a bit more, we talked about more positive things that made me feel better. He told me since I would be on the road that I could call or Face Time him if I had any problems. I walked out of that building with a whole new attitude. I went to the bus and as I walked up to it, Summer ran out of it and jumped into my arms. I hugged her tightly and spun her around. "You ready for Texas??" I asked over enthusiastic for her. "Yes!! We get to see Anjelica!" She yelled throwing her hands in the air. I laughed and kissed her cheek then we got on the us and headed to Texas.