June whatever
I'm having one of those moments again, dear journal. Dear fucking journal. You know. The aimless writing one. Where I'm writing and writing and writing words, words, words, over and over and over again because it makes me look busy. It stops me from looking alone, like people should take pity on me. It makes me look like I know what I'm doing, that I've got things going on, a life and other things. I could be writing to my mother or a friend or my husband or other things I only imagine but I'm only writing to you and SHHHHH no one knows that. I don't think I look funny sitting alone at this patio, waiting for Chris, who might not even show. I wouldn't blame him. I saw the fear in his eyes, his annoyance with me. I'm like a chisel and he's the rock and usually they crumble. Usually they fall for it all. I'm easy on the eyes, I'm a good time – I'm the best time. But Chris doesn't know that. He doesn't want to know that. He's difficult and stubborn and so, so, so focused on his ex and focused on his job and doing what's right for him and what's right for everyone. I'm just a whole heaping of wrong. Temptress. She-Devil. Hippie.
But even if he does stand me up, I'll be OK. I'll be OK because I have you dear, dear sad journal. You've saved my face so many times and you know all about it because I've written it down. You are the keeper of my secrets and my fears and my dreams and you save me. You save me from looking like an idiot. Like a loser. Like a nobody. You save me from me.
YOU ARE READING
Lost in Wanderlust
RomanceLost in Wanderlust is actually a screenplay I wrote back in 2006. Believe it or not, it caught the interest of a few production companies. Unfortunately, the script would have been too expensive to film and since then, it's languished in a drawer so...
