Slipping Away

Chapter 8

He stayed for ages, because when I woke up, he was still there, no longer whispering, just sitting. I wondered if he had gone to sleep. But then I felt his fingers gently stroking my cheek. It probably wasn't visiting hours, but still he stayed with me. I had no idea of the time, because for me, time just moulded into one longer stretch. There was no night or day, no mealtime or bedtime. It was all just one long stretch, broken only by Liam's visits and sleeping. At times when Liam wasn't there, which were rare, I just dozed, thinking and dreaming. Dreaming of my uncertain future.

Everyday, Liam visited me. He didn't stop. He was devoted. Every time he cried, tears of desperation and despair. Soon I reached the end of my first week in a coma. I only knew this because Liam told me. It seemed bittersweet. I was closer to waking up, yet it had been longer that I had lain there, unable to get out of my head. Liam seemed to relax a bit, as he realised that I was not as close to dying as he had thought. He perked up a little, occasionally chuckling or cracking a joke. There were still the long, painful silences and the tearful begging, but less of it. Obviously, I didn't expect him to be happy, or behind usual self, because how could he be his normal self when he constantly had the knowledge that I was lying in a hospital bed every second, with the prospect of never waking up ahead of me.

His visits became more cheerful. He would say hello and chat to me, telling me what was happening, what everyone had been doing, what people had said. He told me the results of the sailing competition that I had been meant to take part in. Bother, Stella Green won. She is my rival and enemy. Liam told me how everybody asked after me and sent good wishes. That is apart from Stella, who, in her drawling voice, said to Liam "Molly too cowardly to come then? Bet she was scared of losing. She's more of a loser than you, Liam Cartwright." Of course, Liam stood up for me and told that loser what had happened and also told her to buzz off and mind her own business. I wished I could have been in that competition. I would have won, since Stella is just about the worst sailor I've ever seen. But of course, she thinks she's better than everybody else, and she doesn't keep it to herself. I wish she would. Liam went on about what his brothers and sisters had been up to. His brother had got something else stuck up his nose, this time a piece of macaroni. His sisters had had a fight over Susie the barbie, which had resulted in Susie being confiscated for a week. He didn't talk about himself, because we both knew what he had been spending a majority of his time doing. There were some more get well soon cards, and since the table by my bed was full, Liam set about trying to tie a string between my IV stand and the curtain rail around my bed. He dragged the chair across the room and then hurriedly climbed up on it, tied the string in place and got down again. He could reach the IV stand by leaning over, so he did that as well. Then he hung all the cards from the string, so that everyone who came to visit me could see them. Other people visited me now as well as Liam and my mum. Some of my friends visited, but they didn't stay long because they didn't know what to say and one of them has a phobia of hospitals. My gran visited me, and my great aunt. They were really boring. All they did was sit there, talking in hushed voices as though I was lying on my deathbed. Worst of all, they talked about me, not to me. They obviously didn't believe that I could hear them. Liam was there when they came, but he hastily got up and left when he saw them coming. He kissed me on the cheek, squeezed my hand and with a quick 'love you', he left. I knew he had to, but I still felt disappointed. After my gran and aunt had sat there for about half an hour, they decided it was time to go and left without even saying goodbye. Some relatives they are. I was left by myself, so I dozed off into dream land. This time I dreamt about grans in cars driving on the moon and penguins eating ice cream. Honestly, don't ask me, I have no idea why I dreamed about those things. I slept and dozed for quite a long time, but when I woke up, I was still alone, apart from a nurse who was doing my blood pressure and taking my temperature. In some ways, it was nice to have some time when I was alone with my own thoughts, but in other ways, I felt incredibly lonely.