Erin [editing]

TWELVE| first morning of the first day of school

Super Bowl Sunday and an early update!!.. #PANTHERS!
-TS
|UPDATE| panthers fucking lost.

-

I haven't slept at all. It's only six in the morning and I don't need to be up until seven. Today's the first day of school and I'm so not ready.

The remainder of the day on Saturday, I stayed with Liam and we went out for a swim in Harry's backyard pool. Well, Liam did. I just sat with my feet in the water. I was not putting on a swimsuit, hell the fuck no. My scars are too vulnerable for that. Harry went to his other interviews and I didn't cry when he left. I hated him too much that day to even produce emotion for him. Sunday was spent preparing for school. Niall tried teaching me a little more guitar but I wasn't having it. I wasn't in the goddamn mood, honestly. Liam tried to help me with my writing skills and my lack of knowledge on basically everything, but I wasn't having that either.

Today is Monday. I got up and pulled my hair. This is bullshit! I went into my bathroom and turned on the shower to kill time. I stripped and got into the shower. I washed my very dirty hair and my body. When I got out, I looked at my bruised arms. They remind me of the past and I hate that. But at the moment they made me feel so damn good. It makes all the pain go away and become physical pain. I can take physical pain, not mentally. I fear I may go crazy. I got out the shower and dried my body off. I brushed my teeth and blow dried my hair. The shirts I have are mostly short sleeved since it is warm in Malibu, and because Harry bought them. I wanted some long sleeved shirts to cover my wrists. I quietly went into Harry's room and to Louis's side, which he still isn't here. I wish he was here, he could've played soccer with me. I looked in Louis's closet, careful not to awaken Harry, but I came to no luck. He doesn't have anything but sweaters and I'm not about to wear a sweater. Hell no.

I went back into my room and unwrapped the towel that was around me. I decided on black jeans, a black tank top, and my leather jacket. I put on black boots with a thick heel and looked in the mirror.

"Somethings missing," I huffed.

I ignored it and checked the time on the clock again, being forty-five minutes after six. It's still so fucking early. I looked inside my bag that Harry packed for me. I had my pencils, pens, highlighters, notebook, loose paper, and basically everything and possibly even more than what I need. I sat at the desk and felt like writing something. Nothing came to my head though. I don't know what to do. Should I put my hair up? Should I brush it out more? It's so curly it wouldn't do much.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. Harry came into my room and turned the light on. I saw the slight panic on his face when he saw I wasn't in bed. But he looked over to the desk and saw me.

"You're already up and dressed?" He asked.

His deep, raspy morning voice is always so interesting. He stands shirtless only in underwear rubbing his eyes sleepily. His bed hair looked terrible.

"I couldn't sleep," I said.

"Are you nervous?" Harry asked.

"No," I pouted.

"It's okay to be nervous. You'll do fine and you'll come to love it. Come downstairs, I'm making you some breakfast," he spoke.

"I'm not hungry," I said.

"Your lunch is at twelve, you're going to be starving by that time. Come, I'll just make some porridge," said Harry.

I followed him down the stairs and he turned on the lights. Everywhere is so dark. It's so weird being up this early. I sat in the living room and turned the television on. Harry told me to turn it to channel three, the news. I did so and sighed.

"I have some things to give you. Come here," said Harry.

I walked into the kitchen and he had something behind his back. "What is it?"

He handed me a phone. A fucking iPhone! I stared at the huge thing. The front is black which twinned with the glass back of it. The outline being a bright gold color and it's bigger than my hand! I don't know how to work this thing! I've never had a phone in my life, and now I have this thing.

"It's the latest," said Harry. "Our numbers are in there. We thought it'd be good for you to have a phone for school. Something may come up."

I held the piece of luxury in my hand carefully. I clicked he button and followed the instructions, slide to unlock. I did so and I saw the words touch ID or enter passcode.

"What?" I asked.

"Your passcode is 0104," said Harry.

"How the hell am I supposed to remember that?" I asked.

"Four of us, one of you. Zero one, zero four," said Harry.

I typed it in and Harry gave me a mini lesson on the phone. It's difficult and so fucking annoying. I know how to text and call so far, but that's about it. He handed me a black wallet, I took it and opened it. I had several ones, fives, and twenty dollar bills; but I had way too many hundred dollar bills.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

"There's also a card in there. I prefer you use your card most of the time. Use the cash for small things. Your card has money on it," said Harry.

"Oh my fucking God," I whispered to myself.

"Don't spend all your money in one day," chuckled Harry.

I nodded unable to comprehend what's happening. I have a phone, about a thousand dollars in cash and probably thousands more on this card!

"Money's for lunch and emergencies," said Harry. "Here's your porridge. Eat it while it's warm."

I sat down at the stool in the kitchen and started eating. My phone barely fit in my pocket while my wallet was stuffed in my bag. Harry went upstairs saying he's gonna get changed. I shrugged him off and threw out the porridge after two bites. I told him I wasn't fucking hungry. I held the phone in my hand and felt so unappreciative. I could've at least said thank you. But it's too late now. Harry came back downstairs fully dressed and his hair as tame as it is gonna get. He wore his normal attire, a shirt, jeans, and boots.

"Liam, Niall, and Louis said good luck on the first day and they love you," he said.

"Thanks Liam and Louis. Fuck you, Niall," I muttered.

"Let's go," he smiled.

I grabbed my bag and we were out the door to my first day of school.