This isnt a story. In a way its an actual diary, you know; a place where I can share my feelings and thoughts because when I'm away from my computer I have no one that I feel I can talk to.
My mom takes everything to seriously and she doesn't understand anything on how to raise a 13 year old.
My dad died when I was 5, after making a very serious promise that involved him coming home from the hospital, which was of course broken. The issue makes it hard for me to believe anyone that makes a promise to me.
My older brother has always been cruel, teasing me on anything he could think of. I go through a stage where all I read are vampire books? I get to spend a very long time listening to him make cheesy vampire jokes. I'm lucky though because he lives 10 hours away and only calls once aweek. The only calling once a week is also a problem, does he not care enough to call?
My middle brother needs more help then I do. I take most of my frustration out on him, which doesnt help with any of my problems because it makes my mom mad at me. He is also sucidal, which makes matters worse. He used to get the 'middle child treatment' but after my mom found out that he had feelings about killing himself, all of her attention shifted to him.
My youngest brother is a drama queen with a foot fetish. He complains about everything and cryswhen he doesn't get a pair of shoes he wants. He started crying once because I got a pair of shoes that were $10 dollars more then his. He also plays baseball, and he is good at it so a lot of myfamily's attention and time goes into making sure they can get to his baseball games
My only sister who is 4. Is the center of everyones attention. She's evil and mean which makes me wonder why people care so much about her. I used to get a lot of attention because I was an only girl surrounded my three boys but now its all on her. Even my friends love her.
Speaking of friends, I don't have very many. I'm the type of person/girl that prefers to know a bunch of people but only have a few close friends. I also prefer to be alone. I don't text or call my friends to hang out because I like to sit at home and do things there. Some say I'm a loner, I honestly don'tcare what people call me.
I'm about to start high school. All of my friends went to one school and I'm going to a different one. I've always wanted to go to the high school that I'm going to because its where all of older realtiveshave gone. One little problem, I went to orientation today and I didn't know anyone and no one seemed to friendly on getting to know me. I talked to the few people that I do know that go there and I don't appear to have classes with anyone. The thought of not knowing one makes me want to cry. I'm not good at meeting people and I'm incredibly shy.
So, I'm about to start my freshman year as a Loser or at least that how it is in my mind and after the people I met today, I'm pretty sure they will all agree.
