Tomorrow on March 2nd, It'll be excatly nine years since my dad died and I'm really sad right now.
I cry about him a lot more than I should but its hard because I cant remeber him anymore, I used to remeber him so well and now I can barley the last day I spent with him.
I cry because I miss him. I cry because I'm anrgy that I hear so many people complain about their dads and I can no longer remeber mine.
I cry because I dont have a dad to complain about. I cry becuase my little brother wants a dad who will take him bowling and play catch with him- the things that my step dad isnt willing to do.
I cry because I feel like he would be disappointed in me. I'm not someone to be proud of, I dont have many friends and I dont like to go shopping. My grades are bad and I cant spell. I suck at Algebra and Biology, both subjects that he was really good at. I wish he was still alive so he could show me how to do the stupid problems. I wish he was still alive so he could go to a daddy daughter dance with me.
I cry becuase my aunts on his side of the family are always telling me all he ever wanted was a family and he didnt get very long with the family he had.
I cry because my grandma cliff died and I'm no longer able to sit next to him and listen to him tell me stories of how my dad was when he was little.
I cry becuase everything I know about him was told by family members and I wish he was still alive to tell me all of these things.
He once bowled a 299 and they let him keep the pin he missed. He liked playing softball. He liked holding me and my brothers in his chair and we would all fall asleep togther. He liked reading stories to me and my brothers. He called me Breezy. I was his little princess. He liked playing playstation with my older brother. When I had to get stiches in kingergarten- just months before he died- he went out and bought me a bunch of new toys.
Another thing that hurts is the fact that I dont have any friends that understand. They all have both of their parents and I'm jealous.
Me and my older brother were talking about my mom once and he said that if I were to take all of the times my mom was sad/mad now and add them up they would equal all of the time that she was happy when my dad was alive. That hurts to becuase I know she misses him to but she doesnt show it.
I want my daddy back. or my memories.
If I could wish for anything in the world I would wish for a day with my dad so he could tell me everyhing about him and I could catch him up on all he had missed.
