15 Years // harry styles

chapter sixteen

B

"What is it?" I ask quietly, looking up at Harry. The smoke from the now-extinguished fireworks swirls far behind him in the night sky, and he's staring at me, a look of wonder in his eye that I haven't seen before.

"Nothing B, c'mon, let's go sit," he smiles, taking my hand and kissing my cheek before he leads me to the blanket.

I'm hit with another moment of awe when I realize exactly where I am and what the last week or so has been like. I met a beautiful boy who somehow found me beautiful too and we actually hit it off and here I am, sitting in a huge stadium cuddling with said boy, who so happens to have a sold out show at this very stadium in about a week.

Life is extraordinary sometimes.

Harry's lounged back beside me, his hands on the stage behind him, and I take another moment to simply look at him. His jaw line is sharp as he gazes around the stadium, but his face is still soft. The long curls that frame his face brush the air just above his shoulders. His silver necklace rests casually on his chest over his black shirt, the small cross charm looking quite lonely there. He looks all too familiar to me, yet I'm still in awe of him.

My mind reminds me that I'm probably staring, so I turn around and lean back against his chest, looking out over the seats and trying to imagine what it looks like to have them all filled.

I close my eyes and picture masses and masses of faces, each one smiling and enjoying the show; I can almost hear them. Then, suddenly, there's one smile, sickly and wicked, on a face all too familiar.

Trevor Harrison.

"Bailey? Babe, are you okay?" I feel Harry sit up, pushing me up with him. My breathing is heavy- too heavy, and I can't get his face out of my mind even after I open my eyes and look around, assuring that every seat is in fact empty.

But the feeling in my chest won't give in to my minds reassurances, and I can feel my ribcage closing in on me, my lungs screaming for air as I force myself to breathe. Harry is saying something but I can't hear him. I curl up out of habit and he hooks his arm around me, pulling me against him as much as he can, cradling me and rocking my slightly.

It takes me a while to calm down again. I pace my breathing with Harry's, working to keep it constant as he continues saying his constant reassurances that he's right there beside me and that I'm safe. I don't know how he knows that those are the words I need, but I don't question it.

"I'm s-s-sorry," I stutter, rubbing a few of the tears off my cheeks that fell without my consent. "I ruin everything."

"Bailey, look at me." He moves me so I'm sitting on his lap, facing him. When my eyes meet his I almost drown in the relief I feel. I can see the worry clouding his gaze, but to have someone here feels better than it should. "You didn't ruin anything. I mean that. You know I mean that."

"I know. I'm sorry, I just thought about-" I stop myself, pulling in a shaky breath. I have to tell him. I have to, I can't hide this anymore. "I thought about Trevor."

The name feels like acid on my tongue, and I can see Harry's face fall. I can't imagine how this sounds to him. Hey, sorry I ruined the most perfect night of my life by thinking about this random guy you know nothing about!!

"Trevor?" Harry's voice is tight and I can tell he's nervous to hear my answer.

"I guess I should start from the beginning." I say it more to myself than him, but he still takes my hand in both of his and squeezes.

"That sounds good."

I take a deep breath before I start.

"I was born in Georgia. My parents met there, in high school, and my mom had a friend named Trevor Harrison. He was really close to her, and my mom knew he liked her but she never had feelings for him. When she met my dad, she told Trevor and he just- lost it. He went crazy, creeping around her house at night and following her around. My parents stayed together through it all, and Trevor seemed to get the point for a little while.

"But then at my parents wedding, he showed up and tried to crash the whole thing, screaming about killing Lydia and anyone else who got in the way of him and his love for my mom. They called the police and he got put away for a few years, so my parents moved to New York to have a new start, far far away from him. My dad got a job helping to build skyscrapers and my mom started a bakery, down in Brooklyn. Well, when I was four the bakery got burned to the ground. The police declared it arson, and she knew immediately that he was back. But she never saw him, which only made her more nervous. Then he showed up at my daycare and my mom knew why she hadn't seen him. He was after me instead of her, cause I was the only way he'd be able to get to her. So they basically put me on lockdown. I never went out with them, and they were extremely careful. They did their best to make everything seem normal, but even as a four year old I knew something was wrong.

"One night, and I can remember this one, she just blew up. She said she was tired of living like this, living in fear and she threw together a few suitcases and we went to leave our apartment and go back to Georgia, or anywhere really. Somewhere where he couldn't find us. On our way out of the city, someone hit our car. That's what killed my parents. He came to the car, and I remember him screaming when he realized what he'd done to my mom. Then, he tried to take me out of my seat and I kicked and screamed like my parents always told me to, and a taxi driver saw him and jumped out to stop him."

"Jerry." Harry whispers. I had almost forgot he was there. I nod and continue.

"They caught Trevor three days later, and by then Lydia had agreed to become my guardian. She was my godmother after all. She had always loved New York and decided we'd stay here. Lydia tried to explain to the police about the stalking and everything else, but there wasn't any evidence. They couldn't do anything to protect me besides put him away for what he did to my parents, and tried to do to me. 15 years for vehicular manslaughter and attempted kidnapping. It's funny, his trial was on my 5th birthday. March 19th. And I can hardly remember him, but I've been in fear of him my whole life so sometimes I just can't help it. He haunts me, Harry. He's everywhere even when I know he's behind bars."

I'm shaking as I finish spilling out everything I've held back from everyone in my life beside Kelsey, Lydia and Jerry.

"He gets out this year Harry. He gets out in March. It's the end of February. I don't know what I'm going to do." Saying the words out loud somehow doesn't sound as scary as they do in my head.

"We're going to figure it out B. That's what we'll do. Okay? I promise. We'll be okay. You'll be okay. I swear on it." His voice is soft, but I can hear the strength and determination in it, and when I look at him I know he really means it, and there's a weight lifted off my chest that I never really knew was there.

And as I think about being beside him, and not being terrified of everything around me, I can feel my heart beating for the first time. Really truly beating. Not because it has to, but because it wants to. For him.