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"For christ's sake mate, were about to start a world tour. Just go talk to her," Louis words seem like a broken record. That's all he's said to me for two whole days after my date with Bailey.
It's true, I was - well, am - moping. The thought of Bailey in her apartment with no explanation, all alone and confused makes my heart press against my ribs in the most unpleasant of ways, but I don't have the strength to go back over there.
"It's not that simple Lou I told you that already," I snap, not meaning to.
"Alright fine then mopy, if you're gonna stay in tonight will you watch Freddie for me? His mum is dropping him off but they want me to track some vocals and I was gonna take him to the studi-"
I cut him off. "Yeah man, I'll watch him." I could use a distraction from my self loathing anyways.
"Thanks man, you're the best."
I check my phone again. Still no text from Bailey. I know she's read it. And I know she's just mad, but the idea of her being alone and unprotected is unsettling to me. I just want to know she's alright. No, I need to know she's alright.
I toss myself back onto my hotel bed as Lou leaves to go back to his room.
---
"Alright, now he's got enough diapers in here for the night, and he'll need a bottle around 6, and then again at 9. He's kinda fussy with them, but he'll take it eventually. He sleeps with that purple blanket every night, or with me or his mum and there's some books and things in there too. Call me if you need me, but I think they're gonna have me pretty late." Louis is careful as he passes his little boy over to me. He's warm and soft, bright green eyes staring up at me curiously. I coo at him softly, bopping his nose gently before Lou leans over and kisses him goodbye.
"Don't worry about him tonight he can crash with me. If that's cool." I add the last part just in case.
"That would be amazing actually. I'll pick him up first thing in the morning. Just text me if you end up.... elsewhere."
Lou heads out the door, leaving the diaper bag on the bed.
"Well hello Fredo, looks like it's just you and me little dude," I smile down at him, but his eyes are already fluttering shut. He's a beautiful baby, in all of his 4 month old glory, wrapped in a cute set of footie pajamas.
I bounce him around a little until he's in a deeper sleep and sit back on the bed, letting him rest on my chest for a while, passing the time by staring out the window and wondering what Bailey is up to.
----
I'm awoken by a gentle stir underneath my hands, and I look down to see Freddie wriggling about underneath my secure grip. I support his head with my hand and bring him back as I sit up. His lip quivers a little and he begins to cry softly. Glancing at the clock, I realize it's 6:15.
"Someone's hungry aren't they?" I murmur, cradling him in my arm and getting up to track down a bottle.
I find one and shake it up, failing to plug the hole in the nipple and getting drops of milk all over the carpet, but Freddie's cries have escalated enough that I don't worry about cleaning it up.
I put the nipple to Freddie's lips, only to have him turn his head and cry harder, his little face growing red.
"Shhhhh, no no it's alright, just eat, shhhhhhh," I coax, bouncing him a little and trying to get him to latch to the bottle with no avail.
After 30 minutes of trying, I'm about ready to throw the god damn bottle out the window, Freddie's piercing screams a background noise by now.
"Wow you definitely got your daddy's lungs little boy," I mumble, trying to calm him down. If only I had someone to help me.
The idea pops into my head and I know there's no use in fighting it- I'll end up there no matter what I do.
Rummaging through the diaper bag with my free hand, I find a blanket for Freddie and bundle him up in it, wrapping my thick coat around him as well before stuffing the bottle back in the bag, throwing it over my shoulder and taking my screaming baby-for-the-night towards the lobby.
The New York air is freezing against my bare arms and I clutch Freddie close to my chest, shielding him from all the wind and cold that I can. I keep my head down as I scurry through the streets.
It only takes 15 minutes to get to Bailey's but by the time I get to the lobby, I can't feel my fingers. Freddie's screams are magnified in the confinement of the elevator as we head up to the 18th floor.
"Shhhhh sweetheart were almost there," I whisper, bouncing him again and ignoring the glare of the other woman on the elevator.
I nearly run out of the door when they open, getting to Bailey's door quickly and shifting Freddie into one arm so I can knock.
I'm shivering and my teeth are chattering, but I can still hear the footsteps on the way to the door.
The knob twists and I just about fall to my knees right there.
Bailey is standing there in pajama pants and, of all things, my packer's sweatshirt, a look of confusion on her face as she takes in the crying form in my arms.
Her eyes travel up to mine and I offer her a small smile. I expect one in return, but that's not what I get. She takes a deep breath before she speaks.
"You... idiot!"
YOU ARE READING
15 Years // harry styles
Fanfiction"When will you understand? I'm always going to protect you. I don't care if it puts me in danger, I don't care if you don't want me to. It doesn't matter where we are. Who it is. What it's from. I can't just sit by Bailey. I can't. I only care about...
