I realized the oddest thing tonight.
I realized that no one really knows what love is.
Some say it's a beautiful feeling, like getting a new view, a new life, a new way to live.
Some say it's a tragedy. Some say it's like walking on eggshells, or confusing your reality with someone else's.
Have I ever felt love?
I think I have. Actually I'm quite sure of it. If you ask me, love is nor beautiful or tragic, love is dangerous. When I think of love I think of that feeling I'd get. My insides would bubble and explode just from simple words that left his mouth. But if you think about it, if you really think about it, just as much as his words put me on top of the world they could've also put me six feet under.
When you're in love, every single day you feel alive, is one more day you're closer to dying.
I found out that being in love was so dangerous and so hazardous because I realized, I realized that when push came to shove I laid down and took his beating.
That isn't even the part that makes me tremble, or makes my heart skip a beat.
The heart shattering, mind blowing thing about it is that I'd do it all again.
I would do it all again just to feel the way I felt in those moments before the storm, the high before the low.
I'd let love ruin me.
But that's just how love works. It's so addictive, so mesmerizing that you would sacrifice so much just to get that little high, the visions of the future, the road to a happy ending.
When we wake up and see that really we are all just invisible like glass and cold like stone in this massive universe, we will finally finally see that love is so pointless and destructive and the only reason that society makes it such a big deal is because it's the perfect word and the perfect feeling.. but perfection doesn't actually exist.
Love's a figment, it all belongs in your head. It's a psychological attachment to someone that your brain makes up. The most anyone gets out of love are cheap roses and chocolates or shitty poems and sappy love songs. That feeling, that high is nothing but an addiction in your head, a craving for too much than someone can give to you.
Too much of anything is a bad thing just like too much of anyone is the equivalent of a gun and the barrel's pointed right at your skull.
So good luck being in love, but when that trigger is pulled don't come crying to me because I'll be the one who says "I told you so."
