Addicted to You

Thoughts.

I'm awake now, free from that awful dream, I'm not a killer, Diane's not a psycho, I'm still with Alex, all is good in the world. I quickly shower, dress and brush my hair before running down the stairs happily. My mom hugs me and my dad greets me as I enter the living room. Burying his nose in the paper my dad reads and he seems to be extremely focused. 

I lean over the back of the chair to see what he's reading. "Fatal Stabbing at Laundromat." it reads. I bury my face in my hands and cry, it wasn't a dream, this is real, and something I have to deal with now. And Alex, it's only hitting me now, I just broke up with my dick of a boyfriend, apart from last night I really enjoyed being with him, I should be glad I'm through with him, he pushed me down concrete stairs for god's sake, I should be glad I got out early before it became a regular thing.

'Honey what's wrong?' my dad asks. I cry harder at the word honey, It's what he called me.

'I'm sorry, I just thought it was a dream.' I sniff and make breakfast. What if they find out I did it? No, they can't, I was wearing gloves and all the blood from the clothes is gone, I cleaned myself with some water from the tap in there. What if they find my hair on the ground? I told them I went down there after Gertrude claimed she saw a body. I'll be fine. I release a breath and chomp on my cereal. 

Something jingles in my pocket as I jog towards the school. I pull a small metal thing out and I gasp and shove it in my back pocket before anyone sees. It's the knife, I completely forgot I took it. I find my friends, they're reading the news online. 

'Hey Josie! How're you?' Sally turns and sees me, then pulls me towards the group. Before I can answer her greeting she goes straight to what happened.

'D'ya hear the news? Some guy got-' I cut her off

'Yeah I heard it.' I look over to Quinn's phone. An article about the murder last night has already been posted.

"Fatal Stabbing at Laundromat.

A man identified as Connor Davis was found dead last night in an alleyway next to a laundromat run by Gertrude Pinn and Diane Thomas. The man was believed to be attempting to rape a young teenager, based on noises heard outside that night, and was stabbed fifteen times in the neck by his victim, or possibly a bystander that saved the teen from their attacker. 

Nobody was present other than Gertrude and Diane and a seventeen year old customer at the laundromat. They all heard nothing or barely anything and only discovered the body when going from an apartment to the laundromat. It's guessed from the wounds that the weapon was a SWATBS Smith & Wesson SWAT assisted opener pocket knife."

'Damn they're good.' I blurt out, remembering seeing the brand name on the blade.

'What?' Quinn asks.

'Those coppers, they're good at what they do, it only happened last night and they've got so much information.' I mumble awkwardly. 

'Yeah.' 

'Hey Josie, don't you use a laundromat occasionally?' Brandon asks.

I sigh and pretend to wipe a tear. 

'Yeah.' 

'Oh my god. You're the seventeen year old customer they mentioned.' Sally gasps.

I nod sadly. 

'Don't tell anyone, I decided not to share my name for a reason.' I cross my arms and look at the ground. They give me the "Oh my gosh" " I'm so sorry" "Are you okay". i wonder what their reaction would be if I said I did it, they'd probably joke and laugh, ha, then I'd pull the knife on them and make them read the brand name. Stop, what the fuck am I thinking? If everyone could hear my thoughts they'd think I'm a psycho, well I killed that guy, am I a psycho? No, I'd have to be mentally insane and kill some more, like Diane suggested I do. Now she's a psycho, she comforts me by telling me to kill more people? What the hell. 

'Are you okay? You zoned out.' Brandon asks.

I nod and we go to class.

I swing my bag over my shoulder and walk out into the school yard, I turn onto the small street I always use to get home, Alex pushes past me and walks a few meters in front of me. I stare at his jacket, it's mine, he's a really small guy, a bit smaller than me, but if it came down to it, in a fist fight between the two of us he'd surely win. If we did get into a physical fight, I'd take a few punches to make it seem really bad, then pull the knife out of my pocket, and boom. Bye bye Alex. And there's a chance I could get away with it, for reason of insanity, a poor little girl got into a fight with her strong boyfriend, now she's traumatized. I quietly laugh, but then I quickly stop myself, I can't let one situation where I had to defend myself brainwash me. I refuse to become a killing machine, I refuse to be the one to take Diane's place. 

I slow down and watch as Alex enters his home, that mental clip plays over and over in my dreams, getting darker every time, until it's not him any more, it's his friends and family placing flowers at the door. I look around to see dozens of people in the street, all reading something on phones or newspapers, I'm thrown a paper, the front page has a picture of Alex on it. 

"Second Fatal Stabbing, Believed To Be Laundromat Killer

A teenage boy was found this morning outside of the Mirefield High School with fifteen stab wounds to the neck, similar to the stabbing at  the laundromat earlier this month, it's believed to be the same person or a cult or gang." 

The paper's ripped from my hands, by Alex, he points and shouts my name, then shouts that I did it, but it sounds kind of muffled, like he's screaming through a wall or pillow. It still grabs the attention of the crowd, the last thing I see is an upside down car driving at me at full speed while I dangle helplessly upside down from a street light. I try to scream but nothing comes out, I close my eyes as the car hits me, I feel an explosion of pain before sitting upright, covered in sweat, gasping for air.

My parents rush in, they calm me and get me to lay down again.

'Honey we heard talking, I assumed you were on the phone late at night but then you screamed, a lot, we thought something was happening. Are you okay?' Mom asks.

'I'm fine, I just dreamed o-of that guy in the alley.' I lie. 

They eventually leave, I decide not to try to sleep, it's Saturday tomorrow anyway.