Red..

Chapter 6

**listen to time of your life by Greenday on repeat for this chapter**

I stand an wait for the hearse , it's meant to snow today , frank loved the snow , I remember playing snowball fights with him , I remember how cold an numb our hands would get , I remember then I was happy ....
" Sam, the hearse is nearly here , you okay to do this ?" Franks dad asks with his hand on my shoulder , his eyes are red an glazed , as are mine , I didn't bother putong makuo on , apart from some red lipstick , frank bought it me, I feel like I have to wear it ..
I stroke down my dress an fiddle with my cardigan sleeve ,
"Y-yes I think so ....no I-I don't know " I say honestly , now fiddling with a piece of paper in my pocket , something I've wrote for frank ...
The two hearses pull up , the first one with frank.
His smooth matte black coffin.
he would have loved it.

I looked an tears started to fall from my eyes , I don't try and control them , I let it happen  ...
I feel a nudge at my arm , it's franks dad once again , handing me another flower made word to place on the other side of the coffin , "brother"
"But franks didn't have any siblings did he ?" I asked franks dad
" no, but he thought of you as a sister .."
My heart ached as I looked down at it , I remember , when we were younger , we called each other bro an sis  , I walked over to the hearse an placed it at the other side , I decided now is the best time to talk to Frank alone
" hey frankie , I love you frankie , I didn't mean it frankie , I'm so sorry frankie " I whisper as I stroke the corner of the coffin , sniffling and shaking
"S-so long an goodnight my angel , I'm sorry" 
I took a step back an just stared for a minute , I looked at the floor and walked into the second car , for the living and sat sext to franks dad , where I proceeded to cry the whole journey as did he.
We pulled up outside a church covered in moss an tombstones , me , franks dad , his grandpa and his uncle .
The drivers of the hearse came out an pulled him down the car so the bottom of the coffin stuck out where his uncle and grandpa got him , then the tow drivers got the middle ,ad me and his dad grabbed the top half , where his head lay .
I put it on my shoulder and held on firmly , he wasn't that heavy at all we walked up this long , mossy path all uphill towards the church , a trail of some of me and franks friends an family walked behind us , his friends were the guys we used to socialise with occasionally when we weren't sitting next to each other in class , which was hardly ever ..
We reached the church doors , to meet some more family an a couple of teachers in the pews and as I looked forward I saw a huge photo of me an Frank him putting his arm around me laughing by a bonfire , I shook , and we walked closer to photo , where we placed the coffin on its stand .
I took a seat on the first pew and as I did so , 'time of your life ' by Greenday played , it was his favourite song , he could play it on his guitar I remember how he could just move his hands around the fret bored so easily , his strumming so effortless
Before I knew it I was full on sobbing , franks dad stroked my back as I looked at him in the photo , I miss him so much , I looked down at the hymn sheet , we decided we weren't gonna have everyone singing , he wouldn't want that , he'd want everyone's memories of him shared around the church , his father went up first ,about him taking Frank to guitar lessons and stuff , learning him how to drive , stuff like that , the his uncle who just talked about what a good kid he was , which was bullshit , he was a fucking twat to most people , but he was also really nice , to me anyway , then it was my turn so I stood up an stroked the coffin as I walked past it .
I stood at the pulpit which was placed next to Frank I looked at Frank , and looked back at the 16 people in the pews and faked a smile
" so , my memories with Frank , I could be here for years , I have a memory for every day , every occasion , situation ... Yeah , " I stopped while I wiped a tear from my cheek an composed myself
" b-but the memory I'm going to share with you lovely people , is my last one , with my best friend , whom I loved an will love very much ,....I-It was two weeks ago to the day , and we decided to bunk off school , and go to the park , the he had this huge idea that we should play hide an seek , so we did , but we went back to his house soon after as I got creeped out in there he gave me hugs an we ate food an he cleaned up my scraped my knee an messed about for a bit , he was so cari g an good natured , I-" I shudder thinking about those red eyes
" but we talked , an we were supposed to get our lips pierced , and I went downstairs for a bit , aan then ....' I couldn't finish it I was full on sobbing so I walked back to my seat and shook as another song started to play where the priest dismissed the rest of the people apart from the coffin bearers ,
I pick Frank up again an then the other song starts playing
" brother , why'd you have to go ?..." I look down to see people walking up to his grave stone we followed as I broke down carrying his coffin up the hill , the song still blaring out of the church , everyone sobbing ...
We stood round watching him get lower into the ground I pulled out a necklace that I got made for him , a guitar pick on a chain , I have a matching one , I looked down at it an kissed it , as I kissed franks an placed it down and it made a slight ding noise on his coffin , I feel my anger an hurt bubbling up
" It should have been me ! It's my fault! I could have stopped it ! , it's not his time to go six feet under !!!" I screamed and then franks uncle pulled me back am hugged me an I just sob into his suit as he just hushes me , this , this is fucking awful , I'm sorry Frank I love you .....