BTR Imagines/Preferences.ღ✿

Kendall Schmidt Imagine(Self-Harm)

 "Babe, we're going to be late! The reservations are at six and its already quarter to six," Kendall says glancing at his watch unpatiently. 

"Don't you want me to look beautiful for you?" You say putting your diamond earrings in. "You deserve a beautiful girl."

"How many times do I have to tell you? You're beautiful just the way you are."

You exit the bathroom with a black strapless floral dress on and matching skinny heels. Your curled hair is pushed up into a ponytail on the back of your head.

"Dayum. You're gorgeous," he said admiring you.

You guys go to a nice elegant restraunt. You order a tiny salad, while Kendall orders a steak. He sends you a pathetic look when you order. You send him one right back, he knows you don't like big meals. You notice a stray hair falling on your face so you push it back into place.

"I'll be right back, I have to fix my hair," you say quietly. 

"What's that on your wrist?" he questions.

You get super quiet. You mentally kick yourself for not putting your three silver bracelets on like you always do.

"Wow, is it cold in here or what?" you laugh nervously, trying to change the subject.   You pull your leather jacket on and cover your wrists, hoping he forgot the question. 

"I said, what's on your wrist?" He questions again.

You cringe. You see hurt in his face and immediately look away.

"It's nothing," you say feeling the tears form in your eyes.

You run out of the restaurant locking yourself in the car, crying and ruining your perfectly done makeup. You take the ponytail out of your hair and let the rest of your hair fall around your perfect frame. Pretty soon, you see Kendall running towards the car. You notice he's been crying too. His green eyes are now dark, red, and puffy.   He shakes the door handle violently signaling to unlock. He doesn't say a word, though you catch him glancing at you from time to time. The drive home is quiet, but it gives you both time to think. Kendall slowly gets out of the car and comes around to open your door.

"My lady," he says griping your hand.  You get out of the car and sit on top of the picnic table in the middle of no where. Kendall joins you. He turns to face you and takes a deep breath. You know he's ready to talk so you turn his way. He grabs both of your hands as the sun starts to set.

"Y/N, you're beautiful. You're the best thing thats ever happened to me. I don't see why you have to put yourself in harm over this. It hurts me so much that you're not feeling beautiful or confident being you. Just.." he pauses. "why?" he says with a soft voice. A voice you've never heard before. 

"Kendall, you meet millions of pretty girls every year. How can I compare to them? Im the only one that has your heart. It puts a lot of pressure on me. What if I'm not skinny enough to be with you? What if I'm to short or to tall to be with you? What if I'm not pretty enough to be with you? You're so amazing and one day you're going to realize you can do so much better than me and leave and I'll never find anyone like you. What if you leave me for another girl, Kendall? Then what?" 

"I may meet a million pretty girls, but none of them compare to you. You're so pretty that it hurts. Stop trying to be what society wants to shove down your throat. I wish you could see what I see," he says pulling out his guitar from the trunk. "I wrote this for you back at the restaurant."

He pulls out a napkin from his pocket and starts playing.

"I don't know why you always get so insecure..."

He strums his guitar while you listen to his lyrics. You notice how each lyric describes you perfectly. You start crying again, but not because you're hurt. It's because you've found your soulmate. Kendall pulls you close and kisses your tears away. 

"Y/N, I love you so much. Please don't ever change. You're mine. Forever. Remember that! You're beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you differently," Kendall says before kissing you.