Love Yourself

•~Uno~•

~~~

I saw you today. You were with her and you smiled like the world was at the tip of your fingers. The way you stared at her showed dedication and passion. Her corresponding look was that of happiness and adoration. Both of you seemed to feel that word, I am so scared to pronounce.

L-O-V-E.

I have learned it is full of emptiness and lost hope. I have heard it carries pain and desperation. But your stare towards her proved it carries completeness and compassion. 

Your stare was not like that when you were with me. Your eyes did not give off a glimmer the way they do with her. Your smile was not as real with me, as she seems to make it. Your lips did not curve with me. You did not dazzle perfect glistening teeth to me. You did not hold out your hand for me to take. But you do with her. Your hand extends fully to hers, almost as if you have no control. You hold hers as if you could carry the entire world with your free hand as long as she occupied the other.

Her.

She is happy with you, you can see it. You can see that devotion in her stare. Like she is willing to spend a lifetime with you. It's like she wishes nothing, but greatness for you. It's like she has known you since forever. A lifetime where you both have already shared millions of laughs, exchanged thousands of smiles, and held each other hundreds of times. It's almost like you've both shared your lips since before your lifetime.

There is nothing but pain left from the millions of scars you've left me with. Because while you are in utter happiness I am in utter desperation. I am out of control. I am dying slowly. I am not who I was before. I am not the same girl who didn't care about anything except being herself. I am now a girl who puts others' happiness before her own. I am but a shade of who I was before you. I am no longer me. 

For that, I despise you in great measures.

~~~