Letters to Judah

Its just beginning

Authors Note -
Hi guys, I just wanted to put this out there that just because this book is about a boy who tried to commit suicide, does not mean I think it's ok to try and kill yourself.
____________________________________

So you want to kill yourself?
Because everyone hates you. Right?
Picture this...
Your parents walking into your room the morning after you chose to take your life, to wake their child up, only to find a lifeless vessel of what they once created. With mouths agape from pure shock, they'll rush to you shaking your soulless body, hoping and praying that they'll see your once sparkling eyes open to meet theres just once again.

You're dead.

Why aren't you responding? They'll ask each other as if they've returned into that innocent child like state they were once in.

You're dead

They'll be broken. Tears. Many tears. More than you ever shed.

You're dead

Was it them? Guilt.
Were they the reason you did this?  More guilt. All these questions yet....
No answer.

You're dead

More tears. Pain. Sorrow. Grief. These unbearable emotions finding its way to haunt them. Every second, every minute, every hour.

You're dead

Your best friends?
They're not going to care. Right? No.

What's the first thing that will go through their minds when the principal comes in and tells the class you're not alive.

You're gone.

Your best friend sits there in tears. They feel they didn't care for you enough. Devastating pain.

You're gone.

What about your teachers?
Thoughts crossing their minds. They'll question if you did this because they didn't make school safe enough for you.

You're gone.

Who organises your funeral? Who goes through your stuff? Clothes? Notes?

You're gone.

The group of people who used to give you daggers at school? They'll feel regret. They'll blame themselves.

You're gone.

See, if you killed yourself today you'll never know what might of happened tomorrow. You'll never know because you're dead. Plain dead. Not breathing. Not moving. Not dreaming. Just dead.

All because you thought killing yourself will end that burden feeling you have deep in your heart.

You are loved. 

Loved by many.

And someone right now is thinking of you. And right now I'm thinking of anyone who has thought or is considering suicide.

You are beautiful. No matter if you're darskin, light skin, black, white, homosexual, tall, short, overweight, anorexic.
You want to kill yourself? Think about it first. There is no coming back. And I promise, if you do it, you are not only hurting yourself, you are hurting many.
You are creating more tears than you led yourself to. Never allowing them to  feel whole like they did when they had you.

You are never ever alone.
Don't try to kill yourself.
Keep your chin up.
You're soon to do amazing things in your life.
                                            ~ Shakira