My Life The Way You Know It

Im Not Supposed To Feel This Way

When I enter the school, people who are hanging around say hey and happy birthdays to me. Of course I say my thank yous and head to my locker. Okay I'm about to admit something that I haven't before. I might just have a tiny crush on the guy I have a class with. I am not saying any names yet but I will probably tell my friends later on. I walk up to my locker and I see people staring more than usual. I obviously don't think anything of because I guess that people are making a bigger deal of my birthday than usual or they heard a rumor that there would be like a very rare chance that it was even true. I shrug my shoulders and open my locker. There I see is a bouquet of my favorite flowers and says happy birthday. I hear footsteps behind me and of course I don't think anything of it. I hear my name being yelled and turn around I see flower petals on the ground that says "Will you go out with me Leah?" I look up to see the one and only Nathan! Gods he is cute! My first response shocks the shot put of him. "Wait you like me back?" He has a confused face like duh and then he smiles proudly you can see his chest puff out confidently. I think its funny and I shake my head smiling. "So will you?" My smile widens and so does his. "Hm i don't know" I leave a long pause and his smile begins to fall. "Dude chill I'm kidding! Yes Nathan I will go out with you." He gives me a hug and I hug my new boyfriend back. Hopefully this one won't cheat on me like the rest of them. He's taller than me which I absolutely love. And he smells really good. Yes creepy I know but still I can smell the colonel on his shirt. We stand there for a few minutes until the bell rings so everyone knows its time to go to class. We walk together since we have the same class and I feel my fingers being intertwined with someone else's. I look up and see Nathan looking down at me and smiling. I smile back and look over to my right and see that Sam is looking at us in awe. I smack her arm as if saying quiet and she ignored me and I see Dylan walk in then the guys and they see Nathan and their eyes turn into slits of course Dylan's don't because he is a jerk face. Daniel is in front since Dylan took his seat then the guys surround his table. "Guys go easy on him will ya? For me?" I'm giving them the face they can't resist. The legend Leah please face. Works everytime. "Leah its not gonna work this time." Daniel says. "Please?" I say getting a little bit more adorable. Ryan jumps in "Nope." making the p pop. I stick my lip out just a little bit more where it is perfection and my eyes on they will do anything for me. "Buba please?" And there it is. Liam, Daniel, and Ryan crack. They let the word I just used sink in and try not to give any sympathetic looks. I slap my hand over my mouth after I realize what I just said. My vision starts to become cloudy and run out of the room and bump into the teacher while I'm on my way out. I run to the bathroom and make sure no one is in there and lock the door. Sliding down the wall of the farthest stall away from the door I squeeze my eyes shut and try not to cry to loud. I haven't said that word since it happened... I cry harder because I know I could have stopped it. I could I have stopped them and saved 4 peoples lives I cry harder. I have this giant eagle to just end it all, make the pain go away somehow. I guess someone was trying to get me to open the door because someone is instead of knocking they are pounding on it know and the voice sounds familiar. Sniffling I manage to get an answer out. "Dylan?" "Yeah its me." he said back in a much calmer voice. "Why you and not the guy who is actually supposed to be comforting me. Like oh i don't know my boyfriend." I saw starting to get sassy and questioning my choices. "Apparently not everyone knows about it. Liam, Daniel, and Ryan are still kind of shocked you said it and the girls well you know being them." I cut him off. "Not even Sam?" I ask thinking wow my own best friend didn't even come. "She was talking to Daniel. Trying to figure put why or how you even said that in front of the class. So can I come in or what?" Oh crap I said in front of the class and ran out like a little bitch. I stood up and walked over there unlocked the door before opening it all the way I made sure that no one was with him. He walked in shut the door and I stood as far away from him as possible and made sure he couldn't see my face. "Why did you even come its not like you of all people actually care." I say. I hear him scratch his head and say "Uh well I don't know honestly..." "Okay well I guess I will see you later." After I wash my face I try to race out of there as fast as possible. Did you catch the word try? Of course Dylan caught me and ended up hugging me. Weird. And something felt really wrong. I felt like tingles go through my entire body and I seemed to like disappear and feel safe and all girly in his arms so immediately I turn and run. I don't know why I'm feeling like this and its dangerously feels amazing but really really gross.