fear of tomorrow

predictions or nightmares?

song listened to while writing; I'm God - Clams Casino

The ringing in my ears wouldn't go away. I slowly feel my surroundings and come to the realization that I cannot see straight. My eyes had a hazy filter that caused everything to blur. I squinted and rubbed over and over but it wouldn't go away. I could see large pieces of concrete surrounding me and zombies everywhere.

Shit, get yourself together.

"Dad!" I yelled over the groans.

Of course it drawled zombies my way. Fuck.

"Dad!" I yelled again. No response.

I swallowed down the pain that had hit me. I wiped the tears and begin trying to remove myself from the pile of rubble.

"Come on." I mumbled to myself. I pushed the pieces off my body and to my luck I had not been harmed from the collapse of the building.

"Shit!" I lose my footing and fall backwards into a pit of concrete and rebar.

The metal bar grazed my side and I yelp from the pain. I crack my head and I'm out.

I'm not one to dream of happy endings or even nightmares. But I created some kind of apocalyptic spawn of a nightmare. I was placed with my father in the same building we had held up in that had collapsed on us. I watched as an illness took his life and I tried to take mine. A group had saved me though and took me in. We went through hell on this journey and I continued to have vivid dreams of a boy. It seemed I was stuck in a coma with the detail and depth of the story. His name was Carl and I was madly in love with him. I've never seen him before but it felt like I knew him. It was like a movie projecting in my brain and it was one that I would cackle at because it was such a sappy romance.

Death, babies, and endless kissing.

I want to wake up. This is too real.

We went on to marry and have children during a zombie apocalypse. We dealt with typical plot twists in a romance novel. The evil villain attacking and separating us time and time again.

The end was near and I ate his flesh. I could taste the iron as my mouth salivated from this hellish dream. He let me rip apart his skin as he placed a revolver to my temple. The last noise I heard was the click of the gun.

"Wake up!" A voice yelled as water saturated my shirt and hair.

I gasped looking around at a group of people hovering over me. I clenched my side in pain and looked at a blood soaked shirt. It hurt like hell.

A man quickly offered his hand, "what are you doing out here?"

He raised me to my feet, "are you trying to kill yourself?"

Why did that sound so familiar?